


Joker Imagines and Oneshots (By Request)

by Amytron30



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Gotham (TV), Joker (2019), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Love, Requests, Romance, Shorts, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amytron30/pseuds/Amytron30
Summary: This will include the following versions of the Joker:•Heath Ledger•Jared Leto•Joaquin Phoenix (also Arthur Fleck)•Cameron Monaghan (also Jerome Valeska) **I know he isn't 'technically' the Joker from the Gotham series, but he is way more fun than Jeremiah Valeska... IMO**Even though I may have some of my own story ideas....I would love to take requests, so please send me some requests!  I think they are way more fun and they can be a fun challenge.So, feel free to send requests so in the comments or whatever and I will see what I can do.  Just make sure to tell me:1. Which Joker you want me to put in the story. 😍2.  What you want to happen in the imagine/oneshot.Hopefully we can have some fun with this! 💚💜🖤
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You, Jerome Valeska/You, Joker/You
Comments: 22
Kudos: 33





	1. From Afar - Part 1 (Ledger)

A makes-you-feel-good imagine with Heath Ledger's Joker.  
_________________________________________________________

Y/N walked out of Gotham National Bank into the warm sun. They always kept it so cold inside the bank, that it tricked her mind into thinking it was winter, so she was relieved to feel the warmth once she stepped outside. 

She looked out at the busy street as she took off her blazer, that had the bank's logo embroidered on the left breast pocket, and draped it over her arm. She reached into an inside pocket of the blazer and took out a cigarette and a lighter and she lit the cigarette as she absentmindedly walked down the bustling sidewalk. 

As she puffed on her cigarette, she looked around at the very familiar street vendors and shops, easily ignoring all of the calls for attention from people trying to sell things. That was something she had to get use to, living in a city like Gotham. At the end of the sidewalk, she was looking towards the beautiful Gotham Central Park that was directly across the street. She took the cigarette out of her mouth and flicked the ashes toward the ground as she watched individuals, couples and families meander through the park until she eyed a gentleman that was sitting at a lone bench.

He was sitting on the bench, facing her direction, with both feet planted firmly on the ground as he bent over a notebook that he propped on one of his knees. Since he was looking down at the notebook, his shaggy brown hair covered his face; however, he did occasionally look up from his notebook to look up at the bank. 

It was when he looked up, that she realized how familair he was. No, she didn't know him, but she had been seeing him around the bank for the last few weeks. Sometimes he just merely walked by the bank. Other times he would come out of one of the nearby alleyways. Then there were days like today, where he was posted on a bench and looked around while writing in his notebook. There was also something up with his face, but she could never make out what it was. Normally, she kept to herself and didn't go out of her way to talk to people, but something urged her to walk over to him. So she did. 

Once the walk light turned green, she straightened her body and made confident steps to the other side of the street. When she made it, the man was just a few feet away from her on her left. So she turned left and walked, keeping her gaze away from the man. Not that he would notice, since he was looking down at his notebook again at this point. 

Once she passed the bench, plus a few extra steps, she stopped and faced herself towards the park again, trying to act like she was casually enjoying the view of the park. She flicked the ashes off her cigarette as she looked to the right, through the corner of her eyes and she could see him plainly. Now that she was closer, she could clearly see a terrible looking scar that started from the corner of his mouth and curved up to the middle of his cheek. 

She turned her eyes away from him, now feeling a little nervous about what she was doing. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she should just make her way back to the bank. Yes, that would probably be best. So, she turned her body to head back toward the crosswalk, but when her gaze went into the man's direction, he was staring up at her. His expression was blank, but he was definitely looking at her. She could see now that he had a scar on both sides of his mouth. God, they looked horrible. 

She froze and stared back for a moment as she decided on what to do. She was; however, one of those people that usually spoke before she thought, so she blabbed out the first thing that came to her mind, "Are you casing the joint?" Her eyes flicked towards the bank and then back at him. 

He raised an eyebrow at her as he closed his notebook slowly, but he didn't say anything. His dark eyes glaring into her. 

Now thinking about what she actually said, her nervousness increased. She meant it as a joke, but what if he really was casing the bank? The guy did look a little crazy. Though his clothes were nice looking, they were definitely not typical. His pants where dark purple and he wore a light blue long-sleeve shirt, that had hexagonal patterns, with a green suit vest. She couldn't think of anyone else in Gotham that would wear all of those colors together. It was crazy. And honestly, the scars didn't help. She cursed herself mentally for being so judgemental.

"Sorry, it was just a joke. Some weird things have happened recently. Like, a few days ago, someone threw a bomb into the bank. But it was just a harmless smoke bomb and nothing else happened. The GCPD didn't even find who did it. A lot of people are saying that it was probably just a bunch of dumb kids, but I wonder if someone was testing the GCPD response time. I mean, that's what I would do if I was going to rob a bank."

He slowly pulled his lips into a smile, "Is that something you think about often?" He spoke with a gravelly voice that had a unique drawl to it. 

She shook her head, "Not often. Just sometimes, when I'm bored out of my mind."

She took a drag from her cigarette and it was silent between the two of them for a minute until the guy cleared his throat suddenly, "So, how long?" She gave him a confused expression so he clarified his question, "How long did it take GCPD to respond?"

She scoffed as she blew out the cigarette smoke, "God, it was horrible. It probably took them 20 minutes to show up and they aren't that far away."

The man suddenly opened the notebook again and started writing. As he wrote, Y/N's eyes opened wide with surprise. Was he really writing that down? He looked up at her, through the corner of his eyes for a moment, then stopped writing and let out a dry laugh as he faced her once again. "Ha, aha, ha.... I'm joshin' ya."

She raised an eyebrow at him, not sure to believe him or not. He rolled his eyes, leaned out towards her and stretched out his arm as far as he could so he could hold the notebook out towards her, "Seeeeee?"

She took a step forward and leaned out towards the notebook until she was able to read what was written inside.

**Why so serious?**

She let out a small chuckle, "So, if you aren't casing the joint, what are you doing?"

He sat back in his orginal spot on the bench and placed the notebook back on his knee, closing it as he did. He then started rolling up his long sleeves up to right below his elbow. "So nosey. I don't even know who you are." He paused for a moment, "What is your name?"

"Y/F/N Y/L/N. And yours?"

He repeated Y/N's name to himself and then stuck out his hand towards her, but not as far as when he held the notebook out towards her. He wanted her to come closer, "Jack. Just Jack."

Y/N threw her cigarette on the ground and attempted to take a couple additional steps towards him to shake his hand, but with her first step, she stepped on a small rock, causing her to roll her ankle and start tumbling forward. However, two strong arms stopped her fall and helped her a normal standing position, but when she tried to put weight on her ankle, she yelped in pain. 

She looked up at Jack, who was now holding her into her standing position, and his face was so close to hers. She felt his warm breath on her face. She saw the horrible scars up close; they looked so painful. This sudden closeness freaked her out and she jerked herself back, attempting to stand up on her own again, but couldn't because of the pain.

"Here, let me help you to the bench," he said as he wrapped one of her arms over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her walk over to the bench and sat her down. He sat down next to her, "Are you okay?"

Y/N couldn't help but laugh, "Geez, that is embarrassing."

He pulled a few strands of Y/H/C hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, "Not as embarrassing as smashing your teeth against the concrete."

She patted his shoulder that was closest to her, "Well, I guess I have you to thank for that. Thanks, Jack."

He smiled at her, "You're welcome."

"So, are you going to tell me what you were doing?"

He picked up his notebook and waved it slightly, "How about I just show you?" He proceeded to dramatically lick his thumb and then thumb through the pages of his notebook until he found the page he was looking for, "Ah, heh, this one will do." He flipped the notebook around and held it out towards Y/N. 

She took it from his hands and placed it on her lap. On the left side of the page was a rough sketch of the north side of the bank. On the right side of the notebook was a slightly better sketching of the east side if the bank, which was directly across the street from where they sat. She looked up at the bank to compare it to the sketch; it was so accurate. She looked at him with amazement, "Wow, this is some crazy good drawing. Are you an artist?"

He ran one of his hands through his brown hair, brushing it back, "You could say that. I've been practicing at least. It is just my way of brainstorming. Helps clear my mind."

She stared back at the sketches, "Oh yeah, what do you brainstorm about?"

He rocked his head back forth slightly, thinking about his answer, "Oh, you know, how I'm going to change Gotham." He giggled to himself like he had a secret. 

She looked him with a curiosity, "Change Gotham? Are you a politician or something?"

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and smirked, as he pointed his finger at himself, "Now, do I really look like a sleazy politician?"

She looked him up and down, "You're right, your clothes are way to cheap to be a politician."

He took on an offended look as he grabbed onto his shirt, "How dare you. These are Gucchini."

She laughed at the obviously made up name as she started to flip the page. Jack's hand reached out toward the notebook to take it back, but it was too late. Y/N turned the page and she saw the sketching of a woman. A very familiar woman. "Wow. Wait, is this..."

Jack moved one of his hands back behind his head and scratched his neck nervously, "God, now you think I'm a total creep. It's just, I have seen you everyday for the last few weeks. So, I couldn't help myself."

Y/N moved her fingers against the sketching lightly, making sure not to smudge anything. It was an upper body sketching of her smoking a cigarette. It was even better than the sketchings of the bank. He got every detail, even the little scar that was on her left eyebrow. She turned and looked at him with a small smile, "It is a little creepy. But, it is amazing. Can I keep it?"

He took the notebook from her hands, "Sure." He gently tore the page out and handed it to her.

She took a moment to study the picture again before she sighed, "Well, I have to go. Thank you for the picture. And for catching me when I fell." She stood up slowly, checking to make sure her ankle was going to hold up her weight. It did. 

He stood up as well, "It was nice to meet you, Y/N."

She looked at him and her heart sank a little. She didn't really want to leave just yet. She would like to talk to him more. But why? She should be creeped out by him, shouldn't she? He did sketch an amazingly detailed picture of her from afar. That is a little stalkerish. 

Before she even realized what she was doing, she hugged him. Jack froze, not expecting it and she pulled away before he could even put his thoughts together. 

"See you around, Jack. Don't be such a weirdo and watch me from afar anymore," she teased. And with that, she walked away from him. He kept his eyes on her until she entered the bank. 

*** * * * * * One week later * * * * * ***

Suddenly, there were gun shots ringing through the bank and a man shouting, "Hands up! Now!"

Y/N and the other tellers obeyed and raised their hands as they looked around, trying to get a sense of what was going on. Three men, wearing clown masks, ran through the bank with guns in hand. One of the men started going by each person in the bank and giving them an activated grenade to hold. This would keep anyone from doing anything, like tripping an alarm.

Before the guy with the grenades made it to Y/N the third man in the clown mask positioned himself right in front of Y/N and she looked up at him in fear, "P-Please don't..."

A familiar, gravelly voice interrupted her, "Well, hello, Y/N. You told me not to watch you from afar anymore, so here I am." She could sense he had a wide smile on his face behind the mask.

"J-Jack?!"


	2. Issues - Part 1 (Valeska)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine: You have been living in a group home for almost a year, after being in treatment at a psychiatric hospital, and are about to age out of the system when a new boy is placed in the same group home.

"Y/N!"

Knock, knock 

"Y/N," pause, "I'm going to unlock the door now."

My eyes shot open and I immediately threw off the thin blanket that covered my body, "S-sorry, I'm coming. Hold on."

I stood up, grabbed my sad, tattered robe - that I carelessly left at the foot of my bed the night before - and walked towards the door. The sudden change in elevation caused my blood pressure to drop and then rush to correct itself. My eyesight grew dim for a few seconds as I slightly stumbled towards the door. As soon as I felt the cold metal of the doorknob in my hand, I unlocked it and quickly pulled the door open. 

My eyesight finally corrected and I saw my caseworker at the door with keys in her hand, "Y/N, why aren't you up yet? I know certain requirements have been laxed for you, but that is because I can usually trust you to do what you need to do. You should have been up hours ago."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. It won't happen again." 

I didn't bother telling her I was having a hard time getting out of bed lately because I was depressed about next month. It wasn't like she would be able to do anything about it anyways, so why bother her with it?

She looked me up and down, almost as if she could sense that I was withholding something from her, but then she looked at her wristwatch, "We have a newbie coming in today and all of the older boys are busy. Can you please meet me downstairs and help me get him situated? After I get him checked in, you can show him around. Introduce him to everyone. You know, the usual stuff. I would really appreciate it."

"Yeah, of course. I'll be down in a few minutes."

She nodded her head at me and then turned on her heels to make her way back downstairs. I took one step out of my room and looked to my right. My room, which was directly at the head of the staircase, was the first room of several that were located in this hallway. I was the assigned "Hall Leader", which basically just meant that I was the oldest and most responsible on this hall. It was part of my responsibility to make sure that all of the other girls, whose rooms were located in this hallway, did what they needed to do and followed the rules. We had daily chores to do to keep our rooms and hallway clean and in order. All of the kids in the group home are supposed to be able to delegate and work out a plan when there is a disagreement. However, if they couldn't work something out, that was when the Hall Leaders would step in.

I used to hate being the Hall Leader, but I had gotten used to it and it did give me some kind of purpose.

_Purpose. Something I won't have after next month. What am I going to do?_

I sighed and then retreated back into my room, closing the door behind me, so I could get ready for my newest assignment. My caseworker often asked me to help her greet and hang out with new kids during their first few days here, at least until they could get adjusted and make some friends. It wasn't always easy, but sometimes the challenge of it was fun. However, you do get those kids that come in from juvenile hall, that are super hard to deal with, but I had tough skin. I could deal with them. Plus, those difficult kids would typically run away from the group home within a day or two anyways. So, I never had to deal with them for too long. 

Once I was dressed and completed all of my necessary hygiene needs, I made my way downstairs and to my caseworkers office. Her office was so...unlike her. She was a workaholic that carried her phone everywhere with her because it had very organized notes of everything that went on in the group home. She knew what each kid needed to do, when they needed to do it, and where they needed to go at all times. Her office, on the other hand, was a mess of partially opened filing cabinets and stacks of paperwork everywhere. 

When I walked into her office, she was busy digging around in a filing cabinet, so she didn't even notice me come in. So, my eyes scanned the room and eventually landed on the person that was sitting in one of the visitor's chairs. The person's back was facing me, so I couldn't make out much except for the short fiery red hair that was slicked back. Unlike the caseworker, this person heard me come in and turned to look at me.

Now that I was able to see the person's face, it revealed that he was a boy around my age. When his eyes landed on me, his frown slowly curled into a very unsettling smile. He seriously looked a little deranged, but I couldn't ignore his mesmerizing eyes. They were gemstone green eyes that brightened as he smiled and the light of the room reflected of the flecks of emerald green that were mixed in. His eyes just matched perfectly with his red hair.

He looked as if he was about to say something when the caseworker interrupted, "Oh Y/N, good, you are already here. This is the newbie, his name i--"

The boy stood up from his seat, positioned himself in front of me, bowed slightly as he took one of my hands, and then kissed it gently on the knuckles, "Jerome Valeska. And you are?" He practically purred as he asked. He looked up at me through hooded eyes with that wide smile, patiently waiting for a reply.

The caseworker interrupted, yet again, "Jerome, stop. That isn't appropriate."

He grimaced as he straightened his posture and turned towards the caseworker, "Not appropriate? That's how gentleman used to greet ladies back in the day, isn't it? Or should I just grab her by the p---"

"Mr. Valeska! You aren't at the juvenile hall anymore, so be aware of what you're saying. As far as greetings go, just stick with 'hi' and a handshake."

He glanced at me through the corners of his eyes and winked. I rolled my eyes.

_God, he is going to be one of those guys._

The caseworker turned her attention back to me, "Y/N, please take him to Hall B, Room 6 and get him settled in. Thank you."

"Yes, ma'am." I turned to Jerome, "Do you have anything I need to help you carry to your room?"

He held his empty hands out and scanned the floor around him, "Don't have a damn thing. Just the clothes on my back."

I didn't say anything in response, it wasn't weird for kids to come in with nothing. Honestly, it would be more weird if he did have things with him. So, I turned on my heels and started to lead him to his room. I could sense that he just stood there and watched me walk away for a few seconds before he decided to follow, causing him to walk at a fast pace to catch up to me.

When he did catch up, he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled the side of my body close to his, "About the clothes, though, I could take them off."

I gave him a disgusted scoff and pushed him away from me; which only made him giggle with glee. I pointed out some things to him as we made out way to his room: the kitchen, the bathroom, the laundry room, and all of those other essential things. 

We eventually made it to the hall where his room was located and he looked around, "Where the girls at?"

I rolled my eyes, "It is okay for girls and boys to mingle in the common rooms, but girls aren't allowed to enter the boy's halls and the boys aren't allowed to enter the girls's halls." He raised an eyebrow and I knew he was going to make a comment about me being here, "Except for certain situations that caseworkers are aware of, like this one."

He rubbed his hands together, looking very pleased, "So, we can use this time to sneak in a quickie, huh?"

"No."

He gripped his hands around my arms and forcefully pushed me so that my back was against the hallway wall, flashing a face of pure annoyance just inches from mine, "God, why are you being absolutely no fun right now? I sh--"

I instinctively kneed him in the groin and the pain interrupted whatever sick comment he was about it make. He doubled over, holding onto himself, and let out a few pained giggles. I removed myself from between him and the wall and continued walking down the hall to his room. I was completely desensitized to his inappropriate actions because I had been through worse before and I have learned to protect myself over the years.

Once I was at his assigned room, I opened the door and turned to look at him, "Here is your room. How about you just stay in here by yourself until dinner? Unless you actually want to meet some of the others."

He stood up, placing his hands on his hips and throwing his head back so he could take in a big gulp of oxygen. As he exhaled, he walked up to me and smiled a toothy grin, "Fuck them. I'm not going to be staying here long anyways. Probably just long enough to get some food and then," he snapped his fingers, "I'll be gone." 

Then he used his thumb and index finger to gently grab hold of my chin, his green eyes scanned my face slowly - as if he was taking in every little detail. It was in that moment that I noticed all of the freckles that peppered the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. A small tuft of his red hair hung over his forehead, refusing to conform with the rest of his slicked hair. 

_I can't deny it. For a creep, he sure is cute._

He smiled devilishly, as if he heard my internal thought, "You could come with me."

I let out a sharp exhale of air, "You said I'm no fun and I just kneed you in the balls. Why would you want me to go with you?"

He licked the top row of teeth, "I think once you get that stick out of your pretty ass, you'll be plenty fun, babygirl."

_Babygirl?_

I pushed past him and started walking away, "Dinner is at 6 o'clock in the kitchen. Enjoy the nasty food and the rest of your life."

I could feel him stare as I left.

*  
*

Later that night, around 10 o'clock, I snuck out of the group home and walked over to the city park that was across the street. This was something I did often. Sure, I was breaking the rules by sneaking out after curfew, but I only did it to get some uninterrupted free time in the fresh air. Plus, I needed to get used to being out on the streets as it was where I was destined to be after next month, once I turned 18.

I sat down on my favorite park bench, placed my notebook on my lap, and looked around. I was looking for something, anything, that inspired me. Sometimes it was a street lamp, other times it was a homeless man. I scanned the darkness for a few minutes until I finally found my inspiration - two cats digging in a park trash can that was nearby. I opened the notebook to the pages I left my pencil and began to draw. 

I held my head down, completely focused on drawing, until I sensed someone standing over me. I looked up to see Jerome grinning at me.

_Oh, god..._

"Look at who's breaking the rules. See, babygirl, I knew you were fun."

I waved my hand at him, "God, please leave me alone. Go run away to wherever it is you plan on going."

He sat down next to me, completely ignoring what I said, and looked at my notebook, "Whatcha drawin'?"

I sighed, realizing that he was not going to leave me alone, "Just those cats over there." I pointed my pencil towards the trash can where the cats were at.

He looked at the cats and then back at my notebook, "You draw good."

"Thanks...?" I was a little thrown off by his completely nice and appropriate comment.

Then he placed his arm over my shoulder, kind of ruining the moment for me, "So, I've decided. I'm going to join the circus."

I stopped drawing and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Join the circus? To do what, exactly? Do you have some interesting talent besides being a douchebag?"

He faked a laugh as he slapped his knee dramatically, "Funny one!" Then he got serious again, "I used to travel with a circus. My lovely mother was a very popular snake charmer."

"Oh, that sounds cool. What kind of snakes?"

"Well, when I say snake charmer, the snake is an innuendo for dick. She was the best dick charmer around," he spread his arms out in the air dramatically. 

I scoffed, "Ah, mother issues. That explains," I motioned my hand at him in a circular motion, "all of this."

His arms dropped down as he looked at me with knitted eyebrows, "Oh, please, everyone has mommy or daddy issues. I mean, you try to act like you're better than me, but you live in that group home too. So, you have your own issues."

Things were silent between us.

He hit me on the arm with his elbow, "I told you mine. You tell me yours."

I looked away as I tapped my pencil on my notebook, "Well, you know, it's like you said... everyone has mommy and daddy issues."

He pressed his lips into a hard line, obviously not satisfied with my answer. Then, he quickly kneeled down on the ground in front on me, using my knees as support to keep himself balanced. He looked up at me, smiling, but this smile was different from all of his previous smiles. It was kind of sweet and endearing. 

"You can share more while we travel with the circus. Come on, let's get out of here."

His voice waivered ever so slightly at the end of his sentence and it made me wonder if he would be upset if I said no. Like, would it really affect him? But why would it? He barely knows me. Plus, he never seemed like the emotional type until this very moment.

I shook my head and looked back down at my notebook, mainly just to avoid his gaze, "Thanks, but no thanks." 

He did that thing again where he grabbed my chin with his thumb and index finger and gently lifted my head, "Aw, come on babygirl, what's got ya tied down here? Hmm?"

His eyes looked so deeply into mine, it almost felt like I was being hypnotized, "N-nothing. It's just, we barely know each other. Why would I travel in a circus with someone I don't know?"

The soft pad of this thumb rubbed against my chin, "It's better than being alone. I mean, that caseworker you like so much is going to kick you out next month."

My eyes widened a bit, "How do you know that?"

He smiled and rocked his head side to side, "Oh, haha, I may have, um, read your file."

I pulled my chin from his grip, "Geez, every time you start to act normal, you do something creepy."

He stood up, "It's in my nature, babygirl," he laughed slightly, "have you heard of Gotham?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That's the next big place the circus is going to. Biiig city. Who know what kind of trouble we could get into together," he paused to give me time to respond, which I didn't, "oh come on, like me, you got nothin' to lose."

I closed my notebook, looked at the group home, and then back at Jerome. 

_Why am I even considering this? I must be fucking crazy._

"If I do go with you, we are definitely establishing some ground rules because me agreeing to go with you does not mean I'm into you in any kind of way."

He took my hands in his and pulled me up to a standing position, "I don't follow rules very well."

_God, I am crazy._

"Well, if you try anything, I will hurt you."

"Oh, I already know that, babygirl."


	3. If I Fall... - Part 1 (Fleck)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine: 
> 
> You and Arthur were friends through all of middle school and eventually started dating in high-school. However, after only dating for a few months, you were forced to move - causing the relationship to end.
> 
> Many years later, you came back to Gotham to work as a Lead RN in a unit at the Gotham Children's Hospital. 
> 
> ***A little extra note: The song "Don't Fight It" by 10 Years inspired this imagine. It is a song that has a special place in my heart. Check it out if you've never heard it.  
> ____________________________________________

I walked into the recreational room with bags of supplies in my arms and a huge smile on my face. I recently received the grant money I applied for so I could actually bring in some fun, enjoyable things into the hospital for the kids to look forward to. 

I had a lot of different ideas and activities in mind, but I decided the first thing to do was throw a little party. So, I picked up some balloons, toys, and snacks that all of the kids could enjoy. I even had a clown coming to entertain them. I was glad the company was able to get someone assigned to the party last minute because I didn't even think about having a clown at the party until I saw an ad in the newspaper yesterday, during my break. I called them, assuming they would tell me that all of their workers were booked, but it turned out that they had one available. 

So, now I just needed to get everything set up before it was recreational time for the kids. I had a few hours, so I wasn't worried. Plus, I was so energized by all of my excitement, that I was buzzing around the room and getting things done pretty quickly. According to the nurses that worked here before me, I had only been working at the hospital for a few months now, the kids hadn't had a lot of fun in their lives lately due to lack of money. I was determined to change that. 

I was working on a few finishing touches by the time another nurse grabbed my attention, "The clown is here. Do you want me to go ahead and send him in?"

I stopped what I was doing and looked at my wristwatch, "Man, he is early. Yeah, that's fine."

The nurse nodded and left to fetch him while I told another nurse to go get the kids. As she left, I positioned myself at the entrance of the room and assessed my work. Okay, I was no party planner. The decor was a little mismatched and by no means magazine worthy, but it was still cheerful. I walked over to the table that had the snacks and started opening all of the containers so the kids could get their snacks before they sat down. 

As I was focused on that, I felt a tap on my shoulder, which caused me to jump. 

A voice behind me softly spoke, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm here for the kid's party."

I turned around and saw a man dressed as a clown. He was wearing a hair cap that was bald at the top with green puffy hair around the sides and back of his head. His white patterned shirt, red and yellow tie, yellow vest, blue/red/white flannel patterned jacket, dark maroon pants with patches, and huge clown shoes were wonderfully mix-matched. His face was fully painted white with red eyebrows and exaggerated smile and blue triangles above and below his eyes. The big, red clown nosed pulled the whole look together. This man definitely had a certain sense of perfecting his clown persona, like he really put a lot of his heart into it. It was important to him, no matter how trivial such a thing might be to other people.

"So, you're from Ha-Ha's?"

He bowed dramatically, "Yes, ma'am, the name is Carnival."

I couldn't help but smile, "Great! Thank you so much for taking the job last minute. It absolutely made my day and the kids will be so excited!"

"No problem, ma'am, my pleasure," he said as he straightened his posture. Then his attention was pulled away from me when the chattering sound of kids made its way to the room. He looked at the entrance of the room as kids began to file in with the assistance of several nurses.

I gently placed my hand on the clown's shoulder, which caused him to look back at me with is kind eyes, "Please, make those kids happy, they deserve it."

An oddly familiar wide-smile appeared within the painted one, "Don't worry, that's what I'm here for!"

I thanked him again, told one of the nurses that I was going to go to my office for a few minutes, but that I would be back.

When I got to my office, I took off my itchy nursing cap and ran a comb through my (Y/H/C) hair to simultaneously fix my crazy cap hair and scratch the itching of my scalp. As I put my cap back on, I saw some mail on my desk and started going through that, which eventually lead me into working on some paperwork from yesterday that I never finished. 

Before I knew it, I spent way more time in my office than I meant to. So, I rushed back to the recreational room, hoping to catch at least a few minutes of the party, only to find that it was over. The kids were already escorted back to their room, with the exception of a couple of kids who were well enough and willing to help with clean up. 

One of the nurses noticed me and motioned for me to go over to her, "Where did you find that clown?! He was so great with the kids. I mean, amazing! I think I'm going to see about having him entertain at my daughter's birthday party."

I smiled, "That's good to hear! Um, he works at Ha-Ha's. I still have the newspaper with their ad. I can give it to you."

"What was his name?"

I looked away from her, pressing my lips into a hard line, trying with all of my might to recover his name from my memory, "Damn, I forgot. Hold on, let me call them and see if I can find out."

I went back to my office, found the ad, and called the number. 

The small voice of a young woman answered the phone, "Ha-Ha's Talent Booking, how can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Y/N and I just had a party at the Children's Hospital. One of your workers came out, but I forgot his name. Someone asked me and I also wanted to see about booking him for another party here next month. The kids loved him."

"Your name again?"

"Y/F/N Y/L/N"

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds, "Oh, I see, it was Arthur. Makes sense, the kids really do love him. So, what day and time did you need him for the party next month?"

My body froze, "Wait, his name was Arthur? I-Is there anyway you can give me his last name?"

"Fleck."

_Arthur Fleck. That was him? He was... So, that's why that big smile was so familiar._

"Ma'am?"

I shook myself out of my thoughts and quickly gave her a day and time, though I didn't actually look at a calendar so I had no idea if that would really work or not. I just wanted to get off the phone. 

I hung up the phone once that was done and leaned back in my chair as memories flooded my brain. I used to live in Gotham when I was younger and I first noticed Arthur in middle school when all of our other classmates excluded and made fun of him because of his condition that he had. So, one day during lunch, I decided to sit next to him. He was very shy at first, but we became friends very quickly. When I first decided to talk to him, I never expected to find such an amazing friendship with him, but I did. And it was a friendship I always treasured, even years after moving away. 

I remember sitting next to him in class every day, passing notes to each other - usually him writing silly jokes. That's what I remember most - how much he made me laugh. We would walk home after school, usually stopping at a park along the way and swing on the swing set for hours. Then, there were those not so great times when his mom and her boyfriend were fighting or when my sister's health was declining. Though those times were hard, we always helped each other through them. We would sneak into each other's rooms at night, when shit got really bad, and we would stay up all night comforting each other. 

_He was my best friend. I..._

I couldn't believe that I didn't recognize him, but it had been almost 15 years since I last saw him and, when I did see him, he was dressed up as a clown - with the face paint and all. So, I couldn't be too hard on myself for not recognizing him. 

_How was his life for the last 15 years? What was he like now? What is he doing now? Besides the clown gig, of course._

All of these thoughts ran through my mind and it was hard to shut them off.

_That's it. I'm going to go talk to him after I get off work._

*  
*

I stood on the sidewalk that was across the street from Ha-Ha's, frozen as I thought about what I was doing. I headed straight to Ha-Ha's after my shift at work, I got the address off of their ad, and found that it actually wasn't that terribly far from the hospital. However, I was finding it very difficult to take those steps across the street. Part of me wondered what the fuck I was doing. I was just coming by his place of employment, completely unannounced and under the assumption that he was there. It was totally possible that he was out at another gig or even home by now.

I watched as a beautiful African-American woman, probably the same age as me, enter the Ha-Ha's building with her young daughter. 

_Does he live in the same place as before? Oh my gosh, no. Stop. I am NOT dropping by an apartment, that he may or may not live in, unannounced. That is even more creepy than what I'm doing right now. God, this is creepy. Why am I doing this? I should just leave. Go home._

But my feet didn't move. I glanced up at the crosswalk light as it flipped from red to green.

_Just go. Go. Go. I've got to see him. Talk to him. It's not like he has absolutely no idea who I am. He knows me, he just obviously didn't recognize me, just as I failed to recognize him._

The crosswalk light turned red before I moved a muscle. So, I stood there, mentally repeating a mantra of reasons it was okay for me to do this as I waited for the light to turn green again. However, before it did, the door to Ha-Ha's opened and I saw three individuals walk out. 

There was a man with brown hair that was brushed back behind his ears so that the curled ends bunched together behind his neck about an inch or so from his shoulders. He had blue pants, brown sweater, and a beige jacket that hung on his thin frame. He came out carrying the little girl that walked in with her mother just moments ago. The girl's mother was walking next to the man, her arm hooked with his. They walked on down the sidewalk like a happy little family. 

I perked up and took some small steps in the direction they were walking. I'm not sure what it was, but something was telling me that that was Arthur. It was probably his brown, slightly curled hair and the way he walked. It just seemed....familiar. Just like the clown's smile. Arthur's smile. 

I found that, as I was lost in my thoughts, I instinctively followed them. I was still on the opposite side of the street, but I was walking down the street with them. That one part of me that thought this was crazy was screaming at me to stop, but it was completely being drowned out by my curiosity. They were talking to each other. They were smiling at each other. They were laughing together. They looked so happy.

_If this is Arthur... Who are they? Is that his girlfriend? Wife? Is that his child?_

The more I thought about it, the slower my steps became. 

_No. If that's really him. If that's really his...family. I can't just show up in his life. Not know._

I couldn't say how he felt about it, but I always felt that our relationship was...unfinished. We were friends for quite a few years before we started dating and, shortly after we did start dating, I had to end it because my father got a new job and we had to move. I didn't want to end our relationship because I...really cared for him, but there was no other option. Arthur did try to convince me to move in with him and his mother, but I was too afraid of doing that at such a young age - we were only Freshmen in high-school. Of course, Arthur felt like I didn't really care for him since I wouldn't agree to his request. He got a little upset with me and didn't even say goodbye to me before I left, which did hurt me badly. 

I moved and lived my life, but I did have those moments where I wondered what life would be like if I had chosen to stay with Arthur. We were so close and he was always so sweet to me, even before we started dating, so when we finally started dating, I was actually really, really happy and I honestly pictured us being together for a long time. 

_Would we have a family by now? Would I be the one with my arm hooked onto his as he carried OUR child._

Suddenly, I felt a twinge of jealousy and I stopped dead in my tracks. They continued walking - completely oblivious of my existence, but that was probably for the best. I didn't want to just drop into his happy life and risk making him question it. I mean, I guess I was assuming a lot to think that I would have that kind of affect on him. Maybe it was more of that fact that a part of me would like to see what would happen if my appearance did cause him to do that - which is unbelievably horrible of me. Or maybe I was worried about how it would affect me. I didn't even 100% know if that man was Arthur and I was feeling jealousy from my assumptions of what I saw. 

_It will just be best if I drop this and leave it alone. I'm going to cancel that party next month. Or at least see if they can send someone else out._

I watched them walk out of my sight and then forced myself to turn on my heels so I could make my way towards the subway to go home.


	4. Quarantine Fun - Part 1 (Ledger)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a 3-part, completed imagine.
> 
> Imagine: 
> 
> You are under quarantine with Heath Ledger's Joker. You are obsessed with the newly released Animal Crossing: New Horizons game and Joker is getting super restless from being stuck at home for weeks.

Y/N sat on the couch, eyes zoned in on the TV screen. Sure, all of the Gotham news channels were constantly reporting on the virus that recently made it's appearance here, the newest hot spot of this global pandemic. It started with only a few people, but the virus was now on an uncontrollable rampage. Every day, they listed off numbers of new positive cases, negative cases, hospitalizations, recoveries, and deaths. Y/N was tired of hearing about it, mostly because it all made her anxiety worse. At first, she tried to get through it by cracking jokes, but it was getting to the point that the jokes only added to her feelings of hopelessness. It wasn't worth trying to joke anymore. 

So, no, Y/N was not watching the news. She was actually escaping into an entirely different world. She was no longer in Gotham, she was in......

"What are you playing?"

The gravelly voice forced her to look in the direction it was coming from - right behind her - even though she already knew who it was. Her eyes focused on a man, around the same age as her, who had shaggy hair that was a dingy green color with his natural light brown showing at the roots. He had his face covered in grease face paint - white for the base, black around his eyes and a huge red smile that covered his lips and stretched to the middle of his cheeks to cover his scars. She scanned down to see what he was wearing - it was his usual dark purple pants with his light blue long-sleeve shirt, that had hexagonal patterns and a green suit vest. He always dressed so...dramatically, but that was part of who he was. He loved to put on a show. 

There was another reason for his particular getup, he was the infamous Joker. At least, that was who Gotham knew him as. Y/N knew him as Jack; they were friends when they were younger. Well, it was more than that. Both of them grew up on the streets of Gotham as young children - Jack was tossed from foster home to foster home and Y/N ran away to distance herself from her abusive step-dad. Once they met, they were inseparable - they helped each other survive. So, their bond was much deeper than just mere "friends", but they had never been romantically involved either. 

Even with their close bond, they had been distant for the last couple of years because Y/N actually started to grow up a bit and got a 'real' job so that she could move into an apartment and become a 'normal' Gotham citizen. Jack; however, chose a different path.

She didn't know much of what he did outside of what had been reported on the news and, honestly, she didn't want to know. While she didn't judge him for what he did, she didn't want to get involved either. The only reason he was in her apartment was because he showed up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago and was in real bad shape. He got into it with Batman and Batman beat the fucking shit out of him, but somehow he still managed to slip away from Batman's grasp. When he showed up at her door like that, she couldn't turn him away. 

At the same time, when she told him he could stay, she only meant for a few days. But then the virus hit and now Gotham was closed down. Well, more like locked down. Since an overwhelming amount of the population got so sick so quickly, the mayor called for martial law. Now the streets were crawling with GCPD and even military and Jack wasn't in the position to do anything about it right now - too many of his goons were arrested during his last showdown with Batman.

"I'm playing Animal Crossing," she answered matter-of-factly as she turned back to the TV.

"It looks like a little kid's game."

"Well, it may look like it, but a lot of adults play it too."

"Looks dumb."

She huffed, "Well, it's not. It is fun."

Jack crossed his arms across his chest and watched her play for a minute or two, "What do you even do? What is the point? I mean, it looks like you're doing chores or something."

Y/N let out a small laugh, "I mean, I guess I kind of am. I'm collecting stuff that I can sell for bells."

"Bells?"

She nodded, "Yeah, that's what the money is called in this game. Then, you take the bells you earn and pay off your mortgage."

"YOU WHAT?! Pay off your.....mortgage?"

She looked at him like she didn't understand why he was so shocked, "Yeah, why?"

He shook his head, "This is the game you have been playing day and night? I thought you played games to escape the tortures of life, but here you are, paying bills. "

She exited out of her game and changed the Switch profile to the one she created for Jack, even though he never touched the Switch the whole time he had been staying with her.

She turned on the game again and patted at a spot on the couch next to her, "Come on, play it. Once you play it, you will see how fun it is."

He swatted a hand towards her, "Nah, I'm good."

She gave him her best sad eyes and pouted lips, "Plleeease."

He rolled his eyes, "You know that shit doesn't work on me."

"Sure it does," she quickly grabbed her hands around the wrist of his hand that was resting on the back of the couch and pulled him with all of the force she could muster - which was more than she actually expected. 

She pulled back so hard, that he actually did lose his balance a bit, which caused him to lean forward over the back of the couch. As this happened, her weight pushed over the edge of the cushion of the couch she was sitting on and she began to fall to the floor - pulling Jack down with her. 

**THUMP!!!**

Y/N fell onto the floor, landing on her back, and Jack landed on top of her. Being forcefully sandwiched between Jack and the floor so suddenly, some of the air was knocked out of her lungs, but not enough to keep her from laughing at what just transpired.

As she giggled, Jack frowned down at her, his face just inches above her's, "Shit, Y/N, what did you think was going to happen? You're just like a little kid."

He was about to push himself off of her until she placed a hand on his cheek causing his body to freeze in place. Still laughing, her warm breath, that smelled like the mint gum she almost constantly chewed on, tickled his nose.

_Her laughter is intoxicating_ , he thought to himself. 

From the first time he heard her laughter, all those years ago, he loved it. As they grew up into young adulthood together, he discovered that he loved everything about her. Her Y/E/C. Her Y/H/C. Her voice. Her personality. The shape of her body. Just everything about her was perfect. However, he never felt confident enough to express this to her. She was way too good for him. And now that she was successfully leading a 'normal' life, he didn't want to drag her into his life of chaos. He couldn't do that to her - no matter how strongly he felt for her. He knew what her life was like before; she deserved peace. 

The pad of her thump rubbed against the soft scar tissue on his cheek. He had these scars ever since she met him. That's why his appearance never bothered her, whether he tried hiding them behind face paint or not.

"Oh, please. You dress like a clown and I'm the little kid?" She smiled at him teasingly.

"Yes, you are," he said matter-of-factly, trying to ignore her touch.

Her smile faded and she gave him a serious look, "Why are you wearing face paint anyways?"

He pushed himself off of her and sat up, resting his weight on his knees and toes, "I gotta get out of here. I have been locked up here for too long."

She got herself back on the couch in her original seat, "So, you're saying I'm boring?"

He sat next to her on the couch, closer than he meant to. His weight sunk into the couch cushion, causing his thigh to rub against her's, but she didn't flinch away from it; anyone else would have, but not Y/N. 

"No, that's not what I'm saying," he looked at the TV, the Animal Crossing opening scene and music playing, "well, you are boring when you play boring games like this."

She took the controller and placed it in the palm of his hand, "Just try it, ya big ol' stick in the mud."

He took the controller in his hands, still unconvinced, and clicked the button to start the game. Y/N walked him through the process of creating his game character - a boy named Jack, who had brown eyes and crazy green hair (of course). Once his character arrived on the island, he was wearing an adorable sailor's outfit.

Jack threw his hand out toward the screen, "What the fuck is he wearing?! I didn't pick that shit out!"

Y/N laughed, "Don't worry, you can customize clothing and even his face. So we can totally change him up and make him look exactly like you. Just be patient."

He looked at her, shaking his head, "How the fuck do I let you talk me into doing dumb stuff like this?"

She ignored him and continued to walk him through the next steps of getting his house built, his first "DIY recipes", and making his important tools so he could start collecting fish and insects.

"Why do I have to collect fish and bugs? Is that how you make money?"

"Bells. And yes, that is one reason. The most important reason, though, is the museum. We need to collect all of the fish and insects for the museum. See, head this wa---- Oh my gosh, wait!"

Jack glanced at Y/N and then back at the TV, "What? What?"

She tapped him on the shoulder a couple of times with one hand and frantically pointed at the TV with the other, "You see that little spikey hole? Dig there! Dig! Gosh, I hope it is something we don't have yet!"

He obeyed, but still questioned why she was making such a big deal about it. Even though, honestly, her excitement of something so trivial did make him smile. It was amazing to see someone, who had been through so much shit as a young child, still be so innocent, uncorrupted, and happy. 

When his character dug up the hole, he pulled out a stone looking thing that had a white spiral and a couple stars on it. After that, she showed him where to go to assess the fossil and - oh boy - Jack was seriously bothered with how much that damn owl talked. 

"Yay! It is something we don't have in the collection yet. Okay, now click on the option to donate it."

Jack exited the choice menu, "But I have a mortgage to pay for. I'm going to sell it."

"No, no, no. I told you, the museum is more important. Donate it."

Jack directed his character out of the museum, even though he had no idea what he had to do to actually sell the thing, "That isn't very responsible. If I don't pay my mortgage, I'm going to be evicted."

She reached for the controller, which caused him to hold it up into the air, away from her, as he continued to play.

She placed a hand on his thigh so she could steady herself as she stretched up towards the controller that he held up in the air, "Oh, just two seconds ago you were saying that paying mortgage in a game is dumb and boring. Quite being such a dick." When she still couldn't reach it, she stood up and tried to snatch it away. 

However, Jack always had better reflexes than Y/N. He blocked her hand from the controller, jumped up into a crouching position on the couch, flung himself over the back of the couch, and ran away. He laughed as he heard Y/N curse at him. He wasn't sure exactly what came over him, but he just had to run from her. Maybe it was from being locked up for so long. He was so used to always doing something, going somewhere. 

Before he knew it, he felt a sudden weight push into his back, causing him to crash onto the ground. It was Y/N. She tackled him and was now straddled on his back, pinning his hand down so she could pull the controller out of his hand.

After she got the controller from him, she leaned down, resting her crossed forearms on his shoulders; she was basically laying on top of him, her lips ghosting against his earlobe, "I'm not sure how you got away from Batman. You are soooo slow!"

The close proximity of her lips sent shivers down his spine, leaving him unable to focus on a smart-ass comeback. Instead, he just laid there and enjoyed the pressure from her weight on top of him.

She twirled a lock of his hair around her index finger and pulled slightly, "Hello? Anyone home?"

Still unsure of what to say, he bucked his body up from the floor, knocking her off of him, and rolled onto his side. He propped himself up on his elbow as he looked at Y/N, who was sitting herself indian-style on the floor facing him. Some of her Y/H/C hung in her face, so he reached up and tucked the hair behind her ear. She kept her Y/E/C eyes on him as he did this.

"You know, Jack, I'm glad you showed up that night a few weeks ago. I really did miss you."

He caressed her cheek slightly, "I missed you too."

Silence invaded the space between them as they stared at each other. This happened for about 30 seconds before they both looked away from each other, awkwardly. 

Y/N cleared her throat, more so to create some sort of noise to break the silence, "Okay, well, let's go donate this fossil."

Jack simply watched her as she got up and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will post parts 2 and 3 ASAP.


	5. Quarantine Fun - Part 2 (Ledger)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of a 3-part imagine.

Once Jack made his way back into the living room, Y/N was playing as Jack's character to donate the fossil that he dug up. 

He purposefully took a seat at the other end of the small couch from Y/N. He knew that the guard he set up around himself, when he first came to Y/N to seek refuge, was slowly coming down. Just a few minutes ago he was touching her hair and her cheek, and he stared at her for way too long. He needed to reign himself in and put some distance between them again. 

"I didn't say I was done playing."

She looked at him with an annoyingly smug 'I told you so face', "Well, look at who likes this 'dumb' game all of a sudden."

He stretched out his leg towards Y/N and gently hit the side of her leg with his foot. Of course, as soon as he did this he mentally slapped himself for already breaking the distance he decided to enforce between Y/N and himself only seconds ago and quickly withdrew his leg back into his personal space.

"No one said I liked this game. I just," he paused, thinking of a good excuse, "haven't played enough of it to really be able to fully criticize it."

She scoffed, "Whatever. Here, we will do it this way."

She did something in the game which brought her animal crossing character into the game with Jack's. Then she took the 2 joy-cons out of the joy-con grip and handed one to Jack.

"Okay, we can play together this way. I made myself leader though, so you have to follow me around and do what I say. If we find any new fossils, fish, or insects - they go straight to the museum."

Jack rolled his eyes, but still reached out for the controller she held out to him. They spent the next couple of hours running around catching fish and insects and looking for fossils. If they got anything that was already in the museum, Y/N would sell them and give the bells to Jack so he could pay off his house and request an expansion for it. 

As they played, Y/N mentioned that she finally saved up enough bells to buy a cello, but it hasn't shown up in the shop since she actually had the bells to buy it. She even showed Jack the empty spot in her house that she had saved for the cello once she bought it. This lead her into talking about how she loved the cello. She went on and on about how beautiful the sounds were and how emotional she got when listened to music or songs that used the cello as a central piece. He didn't really quite understand what she was talking about because he didn't really connect to music in any sort of way, but - little did she know - he remembered just how fond she was of the cello, so all of this was old news for him. She would always, in passing, talk about the cello throughout their time together when they lived on the streets.

Jack laughed at her, "How about you buy a real cello and practice playing that instead of playing this dumb game."

She looked him like he was crazy, "Do you know how expensive cellos are?! I'm a poor little waitress that lives in an overpriced city, which is now closed down because of 'the plague'. I'll never have enough free money to buy one."

He could sense the disappointment in her voice, "Then use the skills you learned in this game. Sell the Switch for money and use it to buy a cello."

"I can't do that, this isn't my Switch. My friend let me borrow it and the game when she left town about a month ago. I'll have to give it back when she comes back next week."

Unsure of what to say in response, his shoulders dropped as he looked at her through to corners of his eyes. He watched as she straightened her posture to stretch her back. Then she placed her left hand on the back of her slender neck and rubbed it in a circlular motion before moving her hand down to her shoulder and repeating the motion. He wondered if the stress of living alone and in poverty was the cause of her shoulder pain. 

_She shouldn't have to work so hard just to scrape by._

He decided he would fix this. Even though they weren't living on the streets together anymore, he wanted to help her. Protect her. He wanted to show her that...

"I lov---"

He was interrupted when Y/N snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, "Hello? What did you say? Are you having a stroke or something?"

He shook his head, "What?" He noticed that she was now right beside him, facing him while sitting indian-style on the couch.

"You were staring at me. Then you whispered something. It sounded like you said 'olive'. Why are you talking about an olive," she suddenly slapped him on the knee, "Ew, are you talking about that stripper over at the sleazy gentleman's bar down the street?! The one that goes by the name 'Olive'?!"

He looked at her, defensively, "No!" Then he gave her a quizitive glance, "Wait, you KNOW a stripper named Olive? How do you know a stripper?!"

She took a moment to laugh and when she was about to speak, there was a twinkling sound in the game that caused her to switch her attention to the TV, "A shooting star!" She adjusted the camera of the game so it looked up into the night sky, "Press your A button and make a wish!"

They pressed their buttons at the same time and their little characters made their wish; things stayed silent between the two of them for a minute. 

She smiled at Jack, "I know your not supposed to say, but I wished for the cello to show up in the shop. What did you wish for?"

Jack, honestly, had been too busy staring at Y/N - not that he would have actually made a wish on a false star even if he hadn't been staring at her that whole time. However, all this talk of wishing just made him want to tell her the truth of his feelings. If he spilled his guts to her, maybe he would get his wish - to be with Y/N in a serious relationship. It wouldn't be a "normal" relationship by any means, he was Joker after all, but they would still be together. They would be able to rely on each other again. And, who knows, they could have fun watching Gotham burn together. Playing mind games with the Batman. 

_No, no. Why would she ever agree to that? She wanted a normal life. She got it. I need to leave her alone. Let her be. It will only end badly anyways. Love always ends badly for someone._

And then, he suddenly had a very conflicting thought - _But if I'm going to try love with someone, I want it to be Y/N._

"Are you having some weird delayed symptoms from the ass beating you got from Batman? Are you sure you shouldn't go to the hospital?"

Jack ran his hand through his hair, combing it back and breaking his gaze with Y/N, "I can't do that. Unless you want me to go to Arkham Asylum."

She stood up and turned the game off, "I don't want you to go anywhere."

The way she said that made warmth rise to his cheeks and he was glad he had on the face paint to cover the unwelcomed reddening of his cheeks. He didn't say anything in response, to avoid saying something embarrassing, but he had that itching feeling that she was waiting for him to say something. 

Then she sighed, "Well, I am going to bed. See ya in the morning?"

He didn't look at her, but nodded his head slightly, "Yeah."

She walked over to him, took his face in her hands and forced him look up at her, "Looks like you got all dressed up for nothin'."

His body froze, surprised by her action, but he forced himself to reply, "S-seems that way."

"Poor Old Jack."

She slowly pulled her hands away, her fingertips tickling his jawline. He slightly leaned with her movement to make the feeling last longer until he risked falling off the couch. Once her hands were no longer touching his skin, she turned and walked away. Jack sat there on the couch, staring in the direction she left in and wondered how he could ever go back to living without her...again. 

*  
*

The next morning, Y/N woke up, immediately took a shower and got dressed. Normally, on her days off from work, she would live in her pajamas or a t-shirt with sweatpants. However, with Jack staying with her, she was a little more conscious of her appearance. Not that Jack had never seen her in...less than pleasant appearances. They had been through a lot together, so they have definitely seen each other during some pretty low times. So, she didn't do this because she felt like she had to, she just wanted to. 

If she was honest with herself, she always had feelings for Jack. He was the only person that was consistently by her side when they were growing up and he protected her until she learned to protect herself. Sure, he always had a tough exterior that made him a pain in the ass most of the time, but she had seen glimpses of that caring softness that he possessed deep down. No one knew Jack like she did, but it still didn't make it any easier to admit her feelings to him. 

He talked a lot about how love was always doomed to fail - he just never believed that it could actually work out positively for anyone. His early experience of love was from his parents, of course, and they had a very toxic relationship. Most of the the foster families he suffered through weren't any better. When he did find one decent foster family, it ended horribly. His foster mom was beautiful and kind - the mother he always dreamed of, but his foster father was a belligerent drunk that used the foster payments they received towards booze. One day, when the foster mom bought a cake for Jack, instead of booze for her husband, his foster father flipped out and killed the foster mom. Then, he turned on Jack and that's where he got his scars. Jack made it out with his life, but that was about it. He felt like love was meaningless and caused nothing but pain in the end. So, he never let anyone get too close. He's had plenty of girlfriends during the time she lived on the streets with him, but he never actually seemed happy or in love. He was never really open with them.

Y/N made her way out to the living room, but the couch, which is where Jack had been sleeping, was empty. She looked around and called for him, but he was no where to be found. She brushed it off, assuming he may have just gone down to the entrance of the apartment building to get some fresh air. 

She decided to play while she waited for him to come back, so she turned on the Switch to play Animal Crossing. When her character walked out of her house, she saw that the mailbox was lighting up, so she checked her mail. There was one unread letter - a letter from Jack. 

**_"Y/N,_ **

**_I know I said I'd see you in the morning, but it was time for me to go and it's easier this way._ **

**_I did leave you a gift in the hallway closet to make up for it. I hope you like it. I'll also have someone drop off another present to you in a couple months._ **

**_I enjoyed these last few weeks and it'll be hard going back to life without you, but I promise not to show up to your place again. I don't want to make you risk your normal life for me again._ **

**_Olive._ **

**_-Jack"_ **

Y/N read the letter several times. Even though the letter didn't say much, it was still a lot more than what Jack would ever say in person. 

_'...it'll be hard going back to life without you...', that doesn't sound like anything he would say. Does he actually mean that? And 'Olive'? What does that mean?_

She set her controller down and made her way to the hallway closet, which she slowly opened, as if she was worried something horrible would pop out - like this was all part of a prank. Once she completely opened the closet door, it revealed a cello case.

_No way..._

She pulled the cello case out of the closet and it actually felt heavy, like there was something in it. She half expected it to be just an empty case - that would be the kind of prank Jack would play on her, but when she opened it, a beautiful cello laid inside. She ran her fingers down the strings of the cello and took in every detail of the beautiful instrument that laid before her. 

_Where did he get this? How...?_

She stopped herself from thinking about it because she would most likely not like the answer. She decided to pull the cello out of the case and, when she did, there were a few stacks of cash laid across the bottom of the case.

_What...the...fuck..._

She looked at the money and the cello, then she looked at TV, where the letter from Jack was still pulled up. What made him do this? She couldn't care less about the money - money is money, but the cello, that was different. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her and she was a little surprised it came from Jack. She always assumed he never listened to her when droned on about stuff like that, but apparently he did listen. 

She took the cello over to the couch and set it down on the coffee table so she could oogle at it some more, still in shock that she now owned one. Then she looked over at the couch cushion that Jack sat on last night and she felt a twinge of sadness.

It was at that moment she knew. She didn't want the cello. She didn't want the money. She wanted Jack. And he needed to know that.


	6. Quarantine Fun - Part 3 (Ledger)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final part of a 3-part imagine.

After a couple of months, the worst of the pandemic was over and Y/N was finally back at work. On her first day back she found out that she was assigned to a catering gig that was taking place that same evening. 

The gig was for a fundraiser and she was super nervous about it. Not only was she out of her 'groove', from being stuck at home for a few months, but this fundraising event was being hosted by Gotham's richest man - Bruce Wayne. Needless to say, her boss needed this to be perfect, so there was a lot of pressure.

To make things worse, her head wasn't fully in it. She was having a hard time focusing because she kept thinking about Jack, who she hadn't seen since the night that he left, and she had absolutely no way of finding him. 

She did make a couple of attempts. She found out about a couple of clubs that he apparently frequented and visited each one a few times to see if she could find him, but she left disappointed each time. 

When she gave up that route, she tried leaving a note for whoever was supposed to drop off her other "present" - which was just more money - on his behalf, but whoever dropped off the money did so in a completely different place than where she placed the note. She moved the note to that spot, but nothing else had been delivered yet. She was still hopeful that they would see the letter and take to it Jack, but this wasn't happening fast enough for her. 

Mr. Wayne's butler interrupted Y/N from her thoughts, "Miss. Y/L/N, are you in need of anymore assistance? Master Wayne's guests will start arriving shortly."

Y/N looked up from what she was doing and scanned her environment, looking at what her fellow co-workers were doing, "No, Mr. Pennyworth, we have everything where it needs to be. Once the first guests come in, we will have people rolling out the first round of drinks and horderves."

"Splendid!" And with that, he walked away.

And the butler was right. It wasn't too much longer before the guests started coming in, slowly filling the empty penthouse with a hum of voices. Y/N forced Jack to the back of her mind and focused all of her attention on the event. If she screwed up, there was no doubt in her mind that she would lose her job. So, she spent the next couple hours checking on the food and drinks, making sure there was stuff floating around the room at all times, and directing other workers on where they needed to be and what they needed to be doing. 

Eventually, she had to go to the bathroom and could no longer hold it, so she let one of the other workers know and quickly made her way to the bathroom, not wanting to be gone for too long.

As she was washing her hands, she heard a loud bang. The bang of a gun shot. She instinctively ducked her head slightly as she looked at the bathroom door. In mere seconds, the door flung open and two women came running in. They looked drop dead gorgeous in their high dollar dresses, but their beautiful faces were twisted with fear and a couple of tears caused their mascara to run down their pink cheeks.

"What was that?!"

Both of the women huddled together, backing themselves into a corner. Both were frantically whispering out answers to Y/N, so it took time for her to make out parts of what they said.

She heard "Out there" and "Joker."

_Jack is here?_

Wide-eyed and on the verge of smiling, she turned away from the women. She had to control her emotions. She couldn't let them see her be happy. If she acted happy about this, that would make them suspicious of her. She took a few steps towards the door as she reached for the bathroom door knob and then she heard the women cry out to her, asking why she was going out there. 

This made her question what she should do. She had to see Jack, so she couldn't just wait for him to leave, but how was she suppose to approach him? She couldn't just walk up to him, in a penthouse full of people, and be like:

_'Hi, Jack! I love you!'_

As soon as those words ran through her head, she took a step back and lowered her hand. She loves him...? Yes, she couldn't deny it anymore. She did. She did love him. But did she really just want to blurt it out like that to him? What if he didn't feel the same way? She now realized that, even though Jack was all she could think about lately, she had absolutely no plan on what she was going to say to him when she did see him.

Then, there were more sounds coming from the other side of the bathroom door. Grunts...struggling...like someone was fighting, but who was fighting? Who would try to get in a fist fight with Jack and his men?

_Shit...Batman._

Then, there was another sound of a gun shot and glass shattering. Y/N reacted. She pulled the bathroom door open and ran out to the main room. She could see, by the large group of terrified people staring at a centalized spot, that there was something going on by the windows of the penthouse. There were too many people crowded around for her to see exactly what was going on though. She started making her way forward, determined to make her way to Jack - not caring that she had no plan of what to do once she got there. She just had to make sure Jack saw her. She wanted to see what his reaction would be. 

Before she made it to the commotion, everything went black.

*  
*

Y/N slowly opened her eyes as she brought her hand up to her temple; the first thing she felt was pain radiating from her head. And even though she knew her eyes were open, she still couldn't see anything at all. Then she noticed that she was laying down and she felt...squished, like she was in a small space. She tried to extend her arms above her, but they hit something solid. A wall? She wasn't sure. Suddenly, her body shifted, like she was moving even though she, herself, was not moving. She heard humming, like the humming of a car engine. It was close. So close. That's when she realized, she was in the trunk of a car. 

At first, she only whimpered because the sudden panic was crushing her lungs. Until the adrenaline kicked into high gear. Then she screamed and began thrashing her limbs against the confining walls. As she struggled, her mind flooded with all kinds of horrible scenarios, some of them from the depths of her memories. She kept screaming until her voice turned hoarse and it was too painful to keep it up. Not to meantion that her screams were only hurting her head even more, making her headache worse. And her stomach was so twisted in knots, she felt like she was going to throw up every time she opened her mouth. Obviously, whoever was driving this vehicle wasn't too worried about anyone hearing her. They had her in a place where they weren't going to be caught. It was too late for her to be saved. 

Eventually, she felt the vehicle stop and, out of desperation, she withdrew further into the trunk, smashing herself against the back wall of the trunk as if it would suck her in if she pressed against it hard enough. She had no other options right now. She held her breath as she listened.

She heard car doors opening. The dinging alarm from the car. The car shifting from the disappearing weight. Foot steps making their way to the back of the car. The click of the trunk lever.

Then there was a bright light. So bright, she was forced to close her eyes away from it. She didn't want to, but it was automatic - she couldn't help it. The light only added to the pain in her head. Then she felt hands grab onto her white dress shirt and pull her up and out of the trunk. She tried flailing her arms and legs to see if she could hit something, and she did, punching someone's face in the process, but it didn't do anything to help her. Someone still had a hold on her. 

Then, there was a sudden pain in her stomach and she doubled over. Whoever was holding onto her let her go and she fell to the ground on her knees. Holding on her stomach and looking up through squinted eyes, she saw the shadows of two figures. One was holding a huge flashlight, pointing it directly at her face. 

One of the shadows chuckled, "She'll be a fun one, huh? I could tell from the second I saw her. She was actually running towards Joker and Batman's little showdown. She's an adrenaline junkie."

The other shadow seemed unimpressed, "You better check with Joker first. You know how he is."

The first shadow spoke again, "Fuck that. If Joker has a problem with me he ca---,"

A third voice, a familiar gravely voice interrupted, "I can......what?" The drawl in his words and strong enunciation of the 't' pricked at her eardrums.

Both of the shadows turned around, "I-I.... I was.... Um, here is a pretty party favor. F-for you, Boss."

"Pretty party favor? I'm interested. Show me."

A hand grabbed Y/N's arm and pulled her up to a standing postion and she automatically jerked her arm away. Even though she was now standing between two douchebags, who she really wanted to kick in the balls, she was more interested in this third voice she was hearing. However, because a flashlight had, only moments ago, been beaming directly into her eyes, colorful spots blocked most her vision. She noticed the person was wearing dark pants and a dark trench coat.

The familiar voice spoke again, "Y/N?"

She nodded her head, responding to her name. The way the person said her name, it was comforting- like she had heard it so many times before. 

Things were oddly silent for a few seconds, until two gun shots rang through the air. She closed her eyes and shielded her ears at the deafening sound. She half expected to feel more pain, but...she didn't. Then she heard two soft 'thumps' at either side of her. She slowly opened her eyes and scanned the ground, finding two men dead beside her. 

Her eyes flicked up at the man standing a few feet from her; her eyes now somewhat adjusted to the surrounding darkness. His clothing was dark, but his face was really light - except for the dark circles he had for eyes.

He slowly lowered his gun as he growled, "Y/N, what the fuck are you doing out here?"

She took a step forward, "Jack?" It came out like a question, but she knew...

"Yes, Y/N, it's me," his voice was softer. Reassuring. Comforting. 

She ran to him, ignoring all of her pain, and threw herself at him. And, of course, he caught her. Like he always did. She held onto him tightly, nuzzling the side of her face against his chest and breathing in his particular scent - which was mixed with the smell of gunpowder. She felt him place one hand on her back, gently rubbing his thumb against her shoulder blade, and the sudden pressure of him gently resting his chin, at a slight angle, on the top of her head.

He did this for only a moment before moved his hand from her back to her shoulder and gently pushed her off of him, "Y/N, answer me. Why are you out here?"

Y/N felt a prick of sadness in her chest. The way he held her, for just a moment, felt welcoming - as if he actually was happy to see her, but then he pushed her away as if he needed there to be distance between them. In the passing of a few seconds, he seemed... indifferent towards her. This caused her to question what she was doing.

"I-I didn't plan on being out here. I was at the fundraiser; the place I work for was catering the event."

He placed a hand on the back of his neck and looked towards the ground, ashamedly, "Shit, really?" Then he let out a short laugh, "Is that why he called you a 'pretty party favor'?"

She forced out a small laugh to mirror him, "I guess so."

He straightened his posture, "Well, shit, I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't know that. I would have made sure to tell you not to go in to work today if I had known."

Then the silence invaded once again. 

Jack was conflicted. He was upset that his plan not to see Y/N again failed, but at the same time...he had been dying to see her again. He couldn't get her off his mind, no matter what he tried. He tried focusing on his schemes against Batman, drinking himself into oblivion at his favorite clubs, and messing around with the women that kept throwing themselves at him. None of it worked. He could only think of the time he recently spent with Y/N. Hearing her laughter, watching her get worked up over trivial things, sneaking sniffs of her Y/C/H hair when it was wet after a shower, and just being near her. God, he missed her so much. 

Y/N had a lot she wanted to say, but was unsure of what she should say. She couldn't really read Jack right now. It was like he was guarded - even more than before. She wondered: Even if she did gather the guts to tell him how she felt, would he even get it? Or would the words just crash against the invisible wall that guarded him?

Jack cleared his throat, "Well, I really can't just hang out in the open right now, but let me at least take you home first."

"No!" Her response came out too quickly and too forceful, so she reigned herself in, "I mean, if you just plan on ditching me again. I don't..."

Jack leaned forward slightly as her sentence trailed off into silence. She was acting weird, but he didn't understand why. Then, he looked at the bodies on the ground beside her and the opened car trunk. 

_She was just kidnapped. She is probably afraid to be alone right now. Fuck. I didn't want any of this to happen. I really don't need this right now, but I can't just leave her alone._

He held out his hand, "Okay, come on, you."

She perked up and placed her hand in his, "Where are we going to go?"

He gently enclosed her hand with his. Even through his clothed hands, he could feel how soft her hand was. Her hands were always soft and he knew this because Y/N, throughout their many years together, always touched him. She was a 'toucher'. 

He didn't like it at first because he was so irrevocably damaged by touch by almost all of his parental figures. However, as his feelings for Y/N grew, the more he yearned for her touch. Her touches were always innocent, she never tried to take things to the next level, but that didn't change the fact that her touch always made him feel something. Little electric shocks, rising warmth, shivering pleasure, and others that were difficult to describe. 

He disguised his intimate thoughts by playing a smirk across his painted face, making Y/N's knees go weak, "To my place."

Jack walked past Y/N, leading her down further down the alleyway they were standing in. They walked past the car and eventually walked up to a fire escape latter. He let go of Y/N's hand, positioned himself by the latter, holding onto it with one hand and motioning towards it with the other hand.

"Ladies first."

Y/N giggled and started climbing up the latter. As soon as she was high enough, Jack swung himself on the latter, with the hand that was already on it, and took hold of the other side. He placed his foot on the first step of the latter and looked up. Y/N was still climbing, so he had a front row seat to her perfectly shaped bottom, which fit perfectly in her black slacks. He quickly darted his eyes away, but kept sneaking peaks until she got up on the fire escape.

She looked down at him, "Hey, you better not have been staring at my ass."

She honestly was half joking, but she also hoped she could make out something, anything, from his response.

He looked up at her defensively, "I was not."

_What? No smartass comment? Hmm... That isn't very like him._

Once he joined her on the fire escape, they made their way up, walking side by side. Every time they absent-mindedly bumped arms, the nerve endings in their skin lit up and they nervously flinched away from each other. It happened several times and, each time, the shock to their nerve endings just got stronger. Both of them held a secret that I were dying to reveal, but they were too afraid of the consequences. Afraid of the possible rejection they could face.

Y/N decided to start with something a bit 'safe', "Oh, thanks for the cello."

Jack swatted a hand in the air, "Don't mention it."

"No, really. It was sweet. And that letter on the game. That was sweet too. A little," she paused, looking for the right word, as she hooked her arm with his, "odd though, coming from you."

Jack withdrew his arm from her, "Please, really, don't mention it." His voice was cold.

She was thrown off by his sudden change in demeanor and upset that this was the second time, within minutes, that he distanced himself from her, "What's wrong with you?"

He stopped at a window and worked on opening it, "Nothing, Y/N. I just don't want to talk about that stuff."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't," his words came out as low growls as he opened the window.

"Why?"

Jack sighed in frustration as he spun around to face Y/N, "Damn it, Y/N, you're so goddamn annoying sometimes. When I did all that, it was my intention to not see you again."

He then turned around and stepped through the open window into a pretty bare looking apartment bedroom.

Y/N stood outside the window, eyebrows knitted together and lips pressed into a hard line. She felt heat rise up to her cheeks. It was his intention to not see her again? Like, forever? He was just going to come into her life for a few weeks and then just...leave?

She didn't know what to say or do, so she just stood there - watching Jack take off his trench coat. He was wearing his usual getup, which she did find extremely flattering on him. His suit fit his body in all of the right places. He then started to roll up the sleeves of his patterned shirt to the area right above his elbows. The heat on her face seem to intensify as she watched him slowly expose his forearms, but not from anger obviously. It was something else. It was attraction.

Attraction. This almost added to her anger or, more likely, transitioned her anger to a feeling of desperation. She was finally motivated to do something about her feelings for Jack, but now he was pulling himself away. Yeah, he was always horrible when it came to things like emotions and vulnerability, but this felt different. It felt worse.

Jack sat down on the end of bed that was in the apartment and looked out at Y/N, "Are you just going to stand out there all night?"

She ignored him, "Why was it your intention to never see me again? Even though, in that letter, you said it would be hard going back to life without me. Why without me? We can still be..."

As she was searching for the right way to finish her sentence, Jack stood up and sliced his hands through the air, "Just drop it, Y/N." 

His varying emotions were folding over each other and threatening to boil over, so he held his gaze from Y/N to hide his face. He hated feeling vulnerable. 

In her anger and despair, she quickly stepped into the apartment and grabbed onto Jack's vest and tried to pull his body towards her so he would be facing her, but he easily stood his ground.

"Jack, stop doing this. Stop shutting me out. Our time together during the quarantine was...the happiest I've been in a long time. Then you just left, leaving behind the cello and that letter. And, for the first time, I really felt like... like we might be on the same page."

_Happiest she's been? On the same page?_

Jack pondered these thoughts as he fought the urge to face her. Her words were making him, for the first time in a long time, feel...hopeful, but he dared not let himself fall into this hope blindly. 

Y/N rubbed a hand against her eyes, trying to force back the tears that were building behind them, "I know you more than anyone else. I know you hate talking seriously about things, but I need you to talk to me. Please."

He ignored her. 

His walls were crumbling down against his will and this made him feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable. He held his lips tightly together, afraid of what stupid, embarrassing things might tumble out of his mouth if opened up, even slightly. 

She looked up at him, scanning every detail of his face - trying to make out some type of unspoken message - as she waited for him to say something. Anything. But her pleas were met with his stoic silence. God, his silence... It never bother her as much as it did in this very moment. It was frustrating. Then that was it, a tear escaped. And then another.

She shook her head as she backed away from him, "I've always had feelings for you, ya know?"

Jack felt his body jolt with surprise at her words, but he kept his gaze away from her. Surely he didn't hear her correctly.

"I read that letter so many times. I couldn't believe it was from you, but, at the same time, I was so happy it was. It made me believe that you liked me. Like, as in... more than a friend. I guess, I was just being hopeful. Naïve. You don't really believe in stuff like that, do you?"

Jack could now sense the despair in her voice and turned towards her slightly, "Y/N....."

She waved a hand towards him with fake reassurance, "It's okay, Jack. I get it. I'll be fine," she lied, "I better go."

She turned away from him to head towards the window, when she felt his hand grab onto her upper arm, forcing her to pause. She turned her head slightly, her gaze following the line of his body from his strong hand, his arm, his shoulder, his neck, to his painted face. Even with paint and his slightly creased face, she could see the handsome boy that she grew up with. He had that same stoic expression he always had when he was guarded, but the quivering of his lips gave her a sense that he broken up inside. That he was actually feeling something. 

He pulled on her arm, somewhat forcefully, pulling her close to him so that her body was flush with his. She looked up at him, their faces just inches apart, and noticed his eyes dancing around - looking upon every part of her face lovingly. 

Jack could see hurt behind her eyes and the slight downward angle of the corners of her lips. He didn't want her to be sad. He especially didn't want to be the cause of that sadness. He now understood that if he continued to push her away, he would lose her. Completely. 

With his free hand, he carefully - as if afraid that his touch would break her - caressed her cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. He noticed her cheeks were red, but he wasn't sure if it was because she was upset or because of his touch. He was once again glad he was wearing his face paint because his face was burning. 

Y/N's heart began to beat wildly at Jack's sudden small display of affection. He has touched her cheek before, but there was a certain tension behind his movements this time - it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She slowed her breath, trying to control the beating of her heart. She wanted to say something, but she felt that one word would break him from whatever trance he was in. 

Jack ran his fingers from her cheek to her chin, taking hold of her chin in his thumb and index finger. His warm breath fanning against her skin and eyelashes. Then he, ever so slowly, pulled her face towards his. 

Before their lips met, he paused, "I love you," his lips just barely ghosting over hers as he said those words.

Then, to avoid giving her a the chance to say anything, he closed the miniscule distance between them and planted his lips on hers.

Her lips were soft, but he wasn't surprised. He knew they would be. He slid his other hand to the side of her neck and pulled her even closer, at a bit of an angle, so he could take in more of her. 

Y/N automatically melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, as she kissed him back. She was surprised at how soft and warm his lips were. Their lips moved against each other so perfectly, she took it as a sign that they were made for each other.

Jack opened his mouth just enough so he could slightly lick at her lips, tasting her, and - god - she tasted better than he ever could have imagined. He took several small steps back until he felt the end of the bed against the back of his knees. He slowly sat down and then laid down on the bed, pulling Y/N down with him and never letting their lips disconnect. He had been waiting and wanting this for far too long. There was no way he was going to let her pull away now. 

He needed her, in every way that she would give him. He had been with plenty of women before, but this time was totally different. He actually felt something. He actually wanted to connect. 

After all, if he was going to try love, it was only going to be with Y/N.

THE END.


	7. If I Fall... Part 2 (Fleck)

I shuffled my way out of the hospital, carrying supplies for a future activity I was planning for the kids and paperwork I neglected to take care of the day before, after finishing an overnight shift that I had to cover for another nurse.

I was a little overzealous with my dedication to taking all of this stuff home with me because I was struggling to keep myself and everything in my arms balanced to avoid dropping something. In fact, my attention was so focused on not dropping something, I failed to notice a person coming up the stairs, as I walked down, and smacked right into them. Some folders fell onto the ground and the ever so playful wind assisted my paperwork in their escape from said folders.

I quickly put down all of the solid objects, that would not fly away, and grasped at all of the paperwork and folders as I repeatedly apologized to the person I ran into. As I frantically regained control of some of my chaos, I noticed a stranger's hand was also picking up some of the paperwork as well.

Then there was a voice, "No, ma'am, it was my fault. You were carrying so much stuff. I should have been paying attention to where I was going."

I let out a sharp exhale, "Well, I really shouldn't have tried to--," before I could finish my sentence, I looked up at the person that was helping me to find that it was Arthur. 

I knew it was him now. His unpainted face made his features much more dominant. His beautiful green eyes and the way they looked at me. The vertical facial feature that went between his nose and top lip. Sure, his face was more heavily creased from the passing of time, but it still didn't take away from that familiar face. He couldn't be anyone else. 

As I unashamedly stared him down, he handed me the paperwork that he was able to grab onto. I absent-mindedly took it from him and, as soon as I did, he gentle grabbed onto my arm - right above my wrist - and helped me up to a standing postion. 

Once we were standing, he quickly pulled his hand away, "Hey, you're the nurse that planned the party here a last month, right? And scheduled the one for next week?"

I shook my head, forcing myself out of my trance, as I straightened the mess of folders and papers in my hands, "Uh, well, y-yes. Yes, I am."

His neutral face weakened into a bit of a frown, "I was actually coming by to talk to you."

My heart skipped a beat when he said that. Why was he coming to talk to me? Did he find out who I was? What was he going to say?

I looked away from him slightly, "Oh?" was the only thing I could spit out of my dumb mouth.

He ran his hand through his brown locks, combing them back, and rested his hand on the back of neck, scratching at it nervously as he forced eye contact with me. Those subtle movements just flooded more memories into my already barely functioning brain.

"I just wanted to know why you requested to change entertainers for the next party here. Was it something I did? Is it something I can fix?" His fragile confidence finally broke and he averted his gaze to the ground, "I need every job I can get."

I literally felt my heart drop into my stomach. I was too wrapped up in my feelings and my need to put distance between us, that I didn't think about how my actions would negatively affect him. If I was correct, he had a family to provide for and I just ripped his money away from him.

_A family..._

I struggled, miserably, to come up with an excuse, stuttering and tripping over my words repeatedly until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see it was a coworker of mine.

She held out some keys, "Y/N, you forgot your apartment keys in the break room."

I took them from her, "Damn, thanks."

She slightly scanned the mess of stuff at my feet and then the man that was looking at me before she turned and went back into the hospital. I took this as a chance to pick up the stuff I had set down on the ground and give myself more time to think of an excuse to give to Arthur. However, by the time I turned back to him, he was staring at me. Well, more like studying me. 

"She said your name was Y/F/N?" He paused for a moment, "Is your last name Y/L/N?"

_Shit. I'm caught. I mean, I can't play this off, can I? Pretend I am someone else? Ugh, no. I can't do that._

"Yeah, i-it is...."

_Do I ask him who he is? Do I just go ahead and say I recognize him? Shit._

He smacked his right hand onto his forehead as his eyes widened with surprise, "Shit, it is you. I knew you looked familiar, but I just... I wasn't..."

He seemed unable to finish what he was saying, but I stayed silent, to give him the chance to.

He moved his hand from his forehead to his chest, "It's me. Arthur. Arthur Fleck."

I mimicked his surprised expression and played dumb, "Wha-- Oh my gosh, it... it is you! Wow, what are the chances?!"

I saw his arms and body twitch to go in for a hug, but then he stopped, "I can't believe I didn't recognize you."

"And I can't believe I didn't recognize you," I lied through my teeth, "but, I mean, it has been 15 years."

He let out a slight chuckle as he nodded his head, "Yeah, yeah. It's been that long, huh?"

I sounded a noise of agreement as a shuffled in place, the shit I was holding was getting heavy. 

He must have noticed that I was beginning to struggle because he jerked himself forward and reached for the stuff stacked in my arms, "Shit, let me help you."

I sighed in relief, "Thank you. I kind of overestimated my ability."

He shook his head with a grin on his face, "You would have been fine if I didn't smack into you like a jackass."

I fiddled with some of the folders I still had in my hands, "Oh, I don't know about that."

It was awkwardly silent, so silent that I would have sworn on my life that the whole world just stopped. This went on for a few seconds that seemed to stretch on a lot longer than they should have. 

Then he finally broke the silence, "Hey, are you heading anywhere important?"

I bit my lip as I contemplated lying to him, but eventually decided against it, "Not really. I just ended a shift at work, so I'm just heading home."

He glanced away from me for a few seconds, as if he was pulling together his confidence, before he asked his next question, "You wanna grab a coffee, or something? So we can, you know, catch up."

"Oh, I don't know," I looked at my wristwatch, "It is basically my bedtime an...," my sentence trailed off as I watched his shoulders drop slightly, "...but I guess at can get a hot tea."

His face lit up, "Great! Do you have certain place you like to go?"

"No, not really. So, you choose," I took a step down on the stairs and then retreated back, "oh, shit, we can't take all of this stuff with us. D-do you mind carrying it to my office for me?"

"No, problem. Lead the way."

I turned around and we made our way into the hospital. 

*  
*

After we took all of my stuff back to my office, he lead me what he said was his favorite coffee place. It was just a small, run down looking diner, but it had a certain charm to it. 

It was obvious that he was not the only person that liked it because the place was busy and there was only one table open when we arrived. He stood next to the table and held his hand out towards it, waiting for me to take my seat in the booth. Only once I was seated did he sit down on the other side of the table. Always a gentleman. He always was, even as a young boy in middle school. So few of my relationships during the last few years involved gentlemen like Arthur. 

The waitress showed up within seconds of us sitting down and we ordered our drinks. I watched as the waitress walked away - she seemed familiar to me, but turned my attention back to Arthur once she was out of sight. I caught him staring at me; as soon as I made eye contact with his green eyes, he quickly glanced out the window and fidgeted a bit. 

Before any awkwardness could settle in, I spoke, "So, how have things been?"

I decided to ask a very general question to see where he led the conversation because I was worried that I would say something that would clue him in on the fact that I semi-stalked him.

He looked at me, placed his forearms on the table in front of himself, folding them over each other, and let out a sharp exhale out of the corner of his mouth, "Well, 15 years is a lot of time to cover. We might be here a while."

I giggled in agreement.

"But you are going to have much more interesting tales to tell since you were the one that left Gotham. You should go first."

_How did I know he was going to throw it back on me?_

I decided just to start at the beginning. I told him about how my family moved a couple of times while I was completing highschool. My parents ended up moving a third time, but that was around the time I was entering college in the city we were at, so I stayed put. I focused on school, got my RN license, and moved again to work at a certain hospital I had my mind set on. It was a childhood cancer hospital that also conducted a lot of drug testing to find cures for many different types of childhood cancers. Though I didn't do anything on the research and drug testing side of it, I just liked the idea of working at a hospital that was working on cures. 

Arthur sat and listened, hanging on every word that I said. Which I remembered him doing a lot when we were kids. He was always careful to never interrupt me when I spoke and tried very hard to understand what I was talking about and why. He wanted to make sure I was heard. I think he did that because he never felt like anyone ever heard him. Well, except for me. 

When I was done with catching him up all of that, he smiled from ear to ear, "I'm so glad you went out and did what you planned on doing, Y/N. Your sister would be so proud of you."

He spoke the last sentence very softly. Not softly as in I couldn't hear him. I did, but it was like he was laying them gently in my hands, so as not to hurt me when they touched my skin. I appreciated it and it helped, but it didn't stop my eyes from watering. 

He looked at me apologetically as he nervously scratched at his arm with his thumb, "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

I reached out and placed my hand on his, the one that was scratching at his arm, as I forced my wide eyes to look up - hoping the tears would quickly dry, "It's fine, Arthur. You don't have to apologize. That was just," I paused, "a very sweet thing to say."

While I was looking away, I felt Arthur's arms withdraw from under my hand. In my curiosity, I turned my gaze back to him and saw that he now had his arms placed in his lap under the table. I quickly withdrew my hand, feeling a bit embarrassed that he pulled away from me like that. I don't remember him doing that before.

Then the waitress came by with our drinks and I wondered if she could feel the awkwardness that was going on between us in that moment. She asked if we needed anything else and we both shook our heads. I wrapped my hands around the warm cup, but didn't take a sip. 

He forced a cautious smile, "So...," he paused, thinking of what else to ask, "Umm, why did you move back here? I mean, it sounds like that hospital was the perfect place for you."

I fiddled with the cup a bit, "Oh, a couple reasons. Mostly because I wanted to work at the hospital where my sister spent most of her time."

"I see. What are the other reasons?"

"Oh, I mean, I did miss it here. I guess that's really the only other reason," I lied. 

He slowly nodded his head, until it was still again, "Did you.....," his words trailed off into nothingness. 

"Did I what?"

He looked away, "Oh, nevermind."

His body was moving slightly; I could tell his was bouncing one of his legs up and down. He did that a lot growing up - mostly when he was nervous, but I also wondered if it was just a habit because he really almost did it constantly. I would always place a hand on his knee to force him to stop. In fact, I felt the pull of muscle memory in my arm; it wanted to reach out for him. I guess I had my own habit.

I decided not to push it because that was honestly the last thing I would want him to do to me right now, "So, what about you? How is the stand up comedy going?"

He finally took hold of his cup in one hand and took a careful sip of his coffee, "Oh, still working on my material. My girlfriend keeps pushing me to sign up for free mic night at Pogo's, but I-I'm just not ready yet."

_Girlfriend... There, he said it._

"Aw," I took a sip of my tea to avoid showing any emotion to his statement, "you have a girlfriend? Is it someone I know?"

He gave me a one-sided smile and almost looked embarrassed by my question, "No. Well, I mean, I don't think so. She didn't go to school with us."

He became silent and nervously rubbed his thumb against the side of his cup.

"So, come on. Tell me. What is her name? How did you meet her?"

Honestly, I didn't want to talk about her. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I also knew that totally skipping over this would be rude of me. He just listened to me go on about my life after moving out of Gotham. It was my turn to listen to him about what was going on in his life. Plus, I needed to get over it. We were best friends at one point. Sure, we dated for a bit, but it didn't work out. So, he is allowed to be in a relationship and happy with someone else. I shouldn't allow my negative and selfish energy to taint that.

He tells me that her name is Sophie and doesn't hesitate talking about her. He said that they actually lived in the same apartment building for a while before they really spoke to each other. He happened to come home one day in his clown getup. He was standing in the elevator, doors closing, when he heard a woman yell out. He quickly blocked the elevator doors from closing, using his foot, so that Sophie and her daughter could get on the elevator. Her daughter, GiGi, ended up asking if Arthur could come to her birthday party and that was pretty much the start of it all. He went to the party, entertained the kids, and spent some time talking to Sophie. The relationship blossomed from there. They had been dating for almost a year now and they were happy.

_Happy..._

He adjusted himself in his seat, "Im actually taking her out on a date in a couple of weeks. I'm," he paused, "thinking about proposing to her."

My heart stopped, "Oh...wow."

His eyes lowered from me to the table, "That is why I came to ask you about the party. I have a ring in mind for her, but I still have quite a bit I need to save up before I can get it...."

"Oh..."

_God, I sound like an idiot._

"I...I guess I just thought I would mix things up and have a different clown perform for the next party, but....the kids really did like you. I-I'll call Ha Ha's tomorrow and ask to put you back on the party."

He looked up at me and smiled as he gently placed his hand on mine that was resting on the table. He rubbed his thumb against my hand, warming my skin and causing a prickly sensation of familiarity to spread through my body. The pad of his thumb was definitely more rough than it used to be, but it still felt so comforting. 

Arthur had always been a toucher. I don't mean that in a vulgar way; it was always innocent. He just loved to touch. Whether it was holding hands, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger, caressing my cheek/jawline, drawing imaginary pictures on my forearms, or leaning his head on my shoulder - he just always had to touch. So, the sensation of his touch was forever imprinted in my memory. Really paying attention to it and feeling it now just made me think of all the good times we had together.

_If only we could go back..._

_But...we can't._

I moved out of Gotham and was gone for years. I can't just return and come back into his life like I never left. No matter how much I would like to.

"Thanks, Y/N," his soft voiced brought me out of my thoughts, "well, I, um, really need be going. Sophie will wonder where I am..."

He put down some money on the table and stood up. I did the same. We stood there for a good 30 seconds, just looking at each other awkwardly.

"Well, I'll see ya next week, at the party, then?"

I forced a smile, "Yes, for sure!"

He took a step towards me and quickly enveloped me in a hug. I stood there awkwardly with my arms at my sides for a few seconds before I hugged him back. When I wrapped my arms around him, I felt my body relax and melt into him - which I did not mean to do. It was hard not to though. His hug felt just the same as it did years ago... comforting... reassuring. We were like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. 

_Him and I were..._

_Stop it. Just stop._

He pulled away, a bit abruptly, looked into my eyes and then walked away. He walked away and he didn't look back. Suddenly, I felt so utterly alone. I had moved back to Gotham on my own. I had no one. However, I never felt as alone as I did in that very moment.


	8. Issues - Part 2 (Valeska)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, this is a continuation of the imagine titled "Issues - Part 1".
> 
> I have a very important note for this imagine. I know that in the Gotham TV series, Bruce is quite a few years younger than Jerome. However, for the sake of this imagine, Bruce will be the same age as Jerome. If you can't deal with that, then.... I guess don't read this one. Lol!

I stood behind a curtain, hiding myself away from view as I waited for the signal from the ringmaster, and scanned the crowd. The stands were completely full of Gotham City citizens. A sea of smiling faces. The whole thing almost looked like a beautiful painting. The people here were unbelievably beautiful, but I guess it only makes sense; Jerome said that Gotham was a big city and beautiful people tend to flock to big cities.

I looked down at the dark blue, sleeveless leotard with the ruffled bottom that I was wearing. It had been worn by other people before me, so it was worn from time and use. However, I was used to such things; my normal day clothes were no better. I only had a few items of clothing, so they were definitely suffering from overuse. 

I did not fit in with those beautiful people out there. This realization made me wonder if it was really a good idea for Jerome and me to stay here. Maybe we would be better off staying with the circus. We had been traveling with this circus for a few weeks now and I actually felt comfortable here. I wasn't sure if I would be able to find the same comfort in Gotham. 

I suddenly felt a gentle nudge on my shoulder and, when I turned, Lola had her trunk right in my face. Her and her sister, Lulu, were definitely my favorite part of traveling with the circus. I was basically the elephant keeper's assistant and I loved caring for such ginormous, but unbelievably kind animals. Part of my job was to lead the elephants in and out of the circus rings for the different acts they were involved in. 

The ringmaster was announcing the final act when Jerome came up beside me, "God, I am so glad this is the last time I will hear his annoying voice," he folded his arms across his chest, "I have no idea why you wanted to stick around. We should have just bolted out of here as soon as we made it into town this morning."

I looked him, "Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. How about we just stay with the circus?"

He rolled his eyes at me as he growled at me, "Come on, babygirl, you can't really want to do that." 

God, his voice did things to me when he growled like that, but I always tried my best to ignore it.

"I'm just a little nervous."

He slithered an arm around my waist, a move he did a lot, "Got nothing to be worried about as long as you're with me."

I gently nudged him, giving him a hint that I didn't want him hanging on me like that, though he never took the hint, "What do you plan on doing here anyways? Get a job? Become an outstanding Gotham citizen?"

He laughed at my words, "And I thought I had jokes. No, babygirl. Gotham is known for being this big, progressive city, but it also has a dark underbelly of crime. A lot of fucked up shit goes on in the shadows and I plan on making myself a big player in all of that."

He looked at me with his big, sparkling green eyes and toothy grin that just screamed mischief. During our travel with the circus, he basically did everything that he could do to get in trouble at every town we stopped at. He would start fights with strangers, disrupt the peace, prank people - especially cops -, and anything else he could get into. I was actually surprised that the circus ringmaster continued to let us travel with them.

He was a pain in the ass for sure, but there was just something about him that just made it worth putting up with his shenanigans. It was those small sweet moments, those fleeting glimpses of softness, that I would witness from time to time. 

I didn't realize I was staring at him until he spoke, "See something ya like?" I felt his fingertips dig into the side of my hip.

Before I could respond, the ringmaster gave his cue for everyone involved in the final act to come out, so I pushed Jerome away from me and lead the elephants out.

Since my job was to simply walk the elephants around to where they needed to go, I put on my best fake smile and scanned the crowd as I walked - just as I did for each and every show we did.

During one of their tricks, I stood in place and continued to scan the crowd. Eventually, my eyes landed on a guy that really stuck out of the crowd. Most everyone in the stands were wearing white or some type of color, but he wore mostly black. I was far from where he was seated, so I couldn't make out any of his features, but it definitely looked like he was looking at me. I turned around, just for a second, to see if there was anything going on behind me.

Nothing.

When I was facing forward again, it seemed he was still looking at me and I felt a sudden wave of self-consciousness flow over me, so I averted my gaze. However, it was hard to keep from stealing glances at him. My curiosity was bubbling. 

The ringmaster gave another cue, signaling that it was time for the final trick, but I was supposed to walk the elephants around the ring first. This would give me the perfect chance to see this guy up close.

So, I gently tugged at the ropes and began walking the elephants around the edge of the circle. People were clapping and calling out the elephants, like they had never seen one before, but the mysterious guy stayed silent and still. Just watching me. I knew he was watching me because his eyes were moving along with me, keeping me in their sights. His constant gaze slowly built up an imaginary pressure on my head. My head felt heavy and I was tempted to look down at the ground to relieve the overwhelming feeling of it, but my curiosity was fighting back, forcing me to keep my head up.

Once I was directly in front of where he was seated, his mouth curved slightly into a smile as he lifted his right hand up just enough to give me a small wave.

And from this distance, I could actually make out his features. Though his outfit choice made him stand put in the group, his looks definitely fell in line with everyone around him. He was beautiful. He had short black hair, chocolate brown eyes, and sharp facial features that lloked as if they were chiseled by a Greek sculptor. 

His friendly gesture and undeniably good looks caused heat to rise to my cheeks and I finally forced myself to look down as I walked past him until he was no longer in my sight. And I avoided my gaze from him for the rest of the show.

Once the show was over, I took the elephants outside so that I could take off their little costume pieces, clean them and feed them. 

I didn't get much done before the elephant keeper called for my attention, "Y/N! This gentleman paid for a close up view of the girls, so be a dear and introduce them!"

When I looked up from what I was going, I saw that the gentleman the elephant keeper spoke of was the guy from the crowd. The one that smiled and waved at me. I immediately felt heat rise to me cheeks once again. I was glad the lighting out here wasn't too great because it would help conceal the redness of my cheeks.

_What is he doing here?_

However, it seemed my face still betrayed me, giving away my feelings of embarrassment at the sight of him, because he let out a soft chuckle, "Hello. I do hope I'm not bothering you."

I took in a deep breath and exhaled sharply, hoping to release my feelings of embarrassment, "No, not at all. Just getting them ready for bed."

He stuck his hands in his pant pockets, "You were great out there. Definitely my favorite part of the show."

_Really? He was just going to say it outright like that?_

I adjusted my position awkwardly, "Well, I didn't do much. It was all them."

It was silent for a few seconds.

He took a few steps towards me, "So, what is your name?"

"Y/N. And yours?"

He repeated my name slowly, as if testing it on his tongue, "That is a beautiful name. It suits you."

My head shot down towards the ground nervously, causing some of my hair to fall down into my face. I had never had someone come on so strong towards me before. Well, okay, Jerome did, but he just said inappropriate stuff, which was easy to shoot down. This guy was actually saying nice things. I wasn't sure how to react, so I just replied with a quiet 'thank you'.

He took additional steps towards me and my heart began to beat at a faster pace, reacting to the unknown of this situation. Once he was stopped directly in front of me, he turned his head and looked up towards Lulu. 

He gently patted her shoulder, "Such gentle animals. Are they as smart as they say they are?"

I copied him and turned my head up towards Lulu, but I looked at the mystery man through the corners of my eyes, "Oh, yes, they are super smart. Smarter than a lot of people I know."

He turned his head down to me, he was a full head taller than me, "Is that so?"

All I could do was look him in the eyes and let out a nervous giggle. He was so close to me; I could smell the minty freshness of his breath and the alluring scent of his cologne. It was intoxicating and even smelled expensive.

Usually, when you look at someone this close up, you can pick up on the subtle flaws that you couldn't see from a distance. However, this guy didn't have any. His skin was clear and smooth, his teeth were perfect, and everything was portioned perfectly for his face.

I even glanced down at his perfect clothes - definitely nothing I had ever seen before. Not a stain or shredded thread in sight. It was like he picked them off the shelf of a store right before he came out here. I wondered if he would ever wear this set of clothing again, after tonight, or would he just throw it away?

_He is definitely rich. Handsome and rich._

As I was lost in my attempt to find some kind of flaw, even a minor flaw, to let me know that this guy was actually human, he slowly reached his hand up to my face. He pushed the rogue lock of hair out of my face, his fingertips tickling against my forehead as he did this, tucking it behind my ear. 

"How long will you guys be in town?"

"Umm, for a few days."

I decided that would be the easiest answer to give him. The circus would only be here for a few days, but I still wasn't sure what Jerome and I were going to do.

"Well, could I, and I know this is very aggressive of me, but could I take you out for dinner sometime? Maybe tomorrow?"

He is asking me out to dinner and he considers that 'aggressive'? Who is this guy?

The warmth in my cheeks returned, "Oh, well, dinner is kind of impossible. You know, since the circus does their shows at night..."

"Lunch then. I know this great place."

"I...I don't..."

He jumped in before I could finish, "Please, I promise, it'll be the best food you've ever had."

I stuttered over my words and, before I could get out anything coherent, a hand came out of nowhere and pushed the man away from me and Lulu, "Who the fuck are you?!"

It was Jerome. _God, here we go again._

I smacked Jerome on the shoulder, "Stop! He paid to see the elephants."

Jerome shot an angry look at me. His brows were knitted tightly together as he sneered at me, "He sure as hell wasn't looking at the damn elephants just now." His fiery red hair matched the anger that was pouring from his words. 

The man recovered himself from the sudden minor assault and straightened out his shirt, "And you are?" He was amazingly calm for what just took place. 

Jerome turned his attention back to the man, slicing a hand through the air as he did so, "I'm the guy that Y/N is with, so get the fuck out of here!"

The man looked at me and I could almost see hurt in his eyes, "Oh, well, I..."

I shook my head, "Don't listen to Jerome. We are definitely not together."

I was looking at the handsome stranger, so I could only see Jerome, through the corners of my eyes, glaring at me. Having Jerome jump in like that and get all possessive just gave me motivation to agree to this stranger's request.

"Actually, lunch sounds great."

The man smiled, "Great! I'll pick you up from here. Tomorrow, 12 o'clock." 

I could tell the man wanted to "seal the deal" with some kind of physical act; his body twitched towards me, but he retracted when he saw Jerome - who was now glaring at him. So, he just winked at me and said goodnight before walking back in the direction he came from. Once he was out of view, I went back to what I was doing with Lola and Lulu before I was interrupted.

However, almost as soon as I went back to task, someone grabbed my shoulder and jerked me around, slamming my back against Lulu's body, "What the fuck, Y/N?!"

I pushed on Jerome's chest, but he didn't budge, "Stop, Jerome!"

His eyes were burning through me, "You're seriously going out with that trust-fund douchebag?"

I crossed my arms across my chest, "Why not? A rich guy wants to take me out, I might as well take advantage of it."

He stuck his finger harshly against my sternum, "You came here with me. You can't just ditch me for some guy."

I shoved his hand away, "I agreed to come with you, but I didn't agree to be owned by you," I removed myself from between him and Lulu and continued on with what I was doing, "so just leave me alone. Go on and be 'Mr. Prince of the Gotham Underworld'; I'm sure you will find some bimbo that would love to be your play thing."

He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back so my back was against his chest. Pain shot across my scalp and I instinctively reacted by grabbing onto his hand that he had tangled in my hair. I tried up pry his fist open, but he was holding on too tightly.

He placed his lips on my ear, causing shivers to travel down my spine, "You're a fucking bitch, you know that? You act like you're so much better than me - like you're too good for someone like me, but you aren't. You and I are the same. Mr. Money-bags will just wine-and-dine you, fuck you, and then dump you."

His voice was like bitter honey. The sound of it was overwhelming enticing and you wanted nothing more than to hang onto every word, every syllable. That was, until you actually took in the harsh things he said.

I spoke through gritted teeth as he further pulled on my hair, "Oh, as if you wouldn't do me the same way."

I dropped one of my hands from my head and - with all the strength I had - elbowed Jerome in the rib cage, causing him to release his hold on me.

I turned around and watched as he massaged the pain from his ribs, "If I ever gave in and decided to sleep with you, you'd be gone the next day and I'd never hear from you again. At least I can steal some shit from Mr. Money-bags before he dumps me."

Then I felt it, the sharp sting of his palm meeting my cheek, instantly causing my eyes to water. He put so much power behind it, it forced my face to turn away from him. I grabbed onto my cheek as heat radiated from it and I froze, keeping my eyes away from him. I couldn't believe he just slapped me. Yes, I couldn't count the number of times he touched me in inappropriate and suggestive ways, but he never hit me before.

Still keeping my gaze from him, I pushed past him and walked off - heading towards one of the circus trailers that I called my home. I almost thought that Jerome would follow me and try to argue with me more, but - to my surprise - he didn't. I made it all the way to my trailer and slammed the door shut.

*  
*

I woke up to the metallic sound of handcuffs locking shut; my eyes shot open. There was a shadowy form above me moving around. It was retracting from the top part of my body and moving down. I felt my arms were pulled up above my head and I tried to pull them down, but I felt cold metal hold me in place. I was handcuffed to my bed.

A whimper escaped from my lips as I felt my feet being tied together. I immediately started kicking my legs around, trying to keep whoever was doing this from successfully carrying out their plan. At first, my struggle was met with a lot of resistance. I could sense their muscles tense up to try and keep my limps in control, but I kept this up for a few minutes until finally, during a moment of weakness, the person loosened their grip and I kicked my leg up into air. I felt my foot make contact with flesh with a harsh smack. I wasn't sure where I hit the person, but I hit them. 

"Fuck!"

Before I could even react to the familiar voice, a sudden weight fell onto my pelvic region, straddling me. With the extra weight on my body, my legs became useless and I lost what little defense I had left. So, I screamed.

But as soon as I yelled out, a hand grabbed onto my mouth, closing it, "Fuck, babygirl, you sure are difficult."

The nickname. The voice. Their familiarity evaporated all sense of panic that I had and my body became still - except for my heart and lungs which were frantically trying to replenish my body with oxygen.

_Fucking Jerome._

Anger replaced my fear as I tried to cuss him out, but his hand was still holding onto my mouth so it just came out as a string of loud mumbles.

He lowered the top part of his body so that his face was just inches from mine. He placed his free hand on my pillow next to my head, using it to support his body so that it stayed hovering above me.

He chuckled, "I like this 'tied up and helpless' look on you. Definitely a turn on."

I moved my head around, trying to get his hand off of my mouth, but he wasn't having it. He kept his hand firmly on my mouth as he stared at me. In the darkness, I couldn't really see his eyes or the overall details or expression of his face. I also couldn't make out the small tuft of red hair that almost always hung over his forehead, but I knew it was there because it always rebelled when he moved around to much - not to mention I kicked him just a few minutes ago.

_What the fuck is he doing?_

As if he heard my internal questioning, he answered, "I'm just doing this so I can talk to you without being kicked in the balls or elbowed in the ribs," he lowered his head so that we were cheek to cheek, buried his nose in my hair, and took in a deep breath through his nose before whispering in my ear, "but we could always do other things. You know, since I'm here and all."

His breath tickled my ear and my body broke into a shiver. He giggled as he raised his head back up to its original position so he could look at me and told me not to cause a scene as he slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

As soon as I was able, I scolded him, "If you weren't such a perverted douchebag, I wouldn't have to defend myself from you! And this, right here, is so wrong! Get the fuck off me! Uncuff me!"

He rolled his eyes at me, "Oh, shut up! Just let me say my piece and I'll leave."

I laid there, watching as my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and I could almost see his face now. From what I could tell, he looked serious. He wasn't smiling, frowning, or fuming - he just looked serious. 

I turned my head to avoid his now-invading gaze, "Fine."

He adjusted himself, rolling his body over so that he could lay next to me, on his side with his elbow supporting himself so he could prop his head up using his hand. My bed was located at the end of the trailer, so he was pretty much squished between me and the wall. Since his head was propped up, I was basically starting at his chest. I didn't noticed until that moment how nice he smelled. He was definitely wearing cologne, which was weird because he didn't own any.

As I was busy musing about where he got the cologne from, he took my chin between his thumb and index finger so he could slowly move my head, forcing my eyes to meet his. Even though I was annoyed and pissed off by his stupid antics, I really wished I could see his beautiful green eyes. 

"So," his voice turned uncharacteristically soft, "did you mean what you said earlier?"

"Which part?"

"The part where you said I'd fuck you and leave."

I let out a sharp exhale through my nose, "Yeah, I did."

I could tell he was trying to keep a neutral face, but I did see the corners of his lips twitch downwards as his thumb rubbed against my chin a couple of times before moving it up to the center of my lips. This movement of his thumb forced my top lip to break away from my bottom lip, opening my mouth just slightly. Then his thumb followed the curve of my top lip as he moved it to the left, tracing my lip slowly. Once his thumb made it to the corner of my lips, he slowly moved his hand to the back of my neck, his fingertips gently massaging my skin, as he bit on his bottom lip which was something he often did when he was contemplating something.

His breath fanned against my face, causing my eyelashes to flutter, but our eyes were locked. I couldn't help but stare. I was pretty confused about what was going on and I wanted to see his face so badly, but it was difficult in the darkness. 

_Damn me, having to be in complete darkness to fall asleep; a night light would come in handy right now._

I felt the muscles in his arm tense and he pulled my face towards his ever so slightly, "You should know that ain't true, doll."

"I should...?" I barely breathed out those two words. I was cautious, and curious, as to what his next move would be. 

_Here we are, yet again. Him pulling me and me just letting him._

Jerome was a jerk. A handsome jerk, but a jerk. There were days that I couldn't believe I left town with him. I would mentally torment myself - asking myself how I could be such an idiot...leaving with him. But then he does things like this. He stares into my soul with his beautiful eyes and he actually says sweet, almost loving, things to me. Then I let my guard down and, against my better judgment, allow myself to bask in the feelings I have for him, instead of pushing them away like I usually did. What would it feel like to hug him? To melt into him? To kiss him? To....

Suddenly, with his hand firmly on the back of my neck, he closed the distance between us and he pressed his lips against mine. My body completely froze as he moved his lips against mine. This was very unexpected and I honestly wasn't sure how to react. Then, I felt him deepen the kiss, as if he were urging...begging...for me to reciprocate.

So, I did.

I gave him what he wanted. I closed my eyes as I moved my lips against his; taking in all of the electronic signals, caused by the crashing of our lips. I felt a warmth, starting at my lips, that moved down my throat and spread throughout my chest - warming my heart and making it flutter with excitement. In my excitement, I tried reaching my hands out towards him - I wanted to touch him - completely forgetting that they were handcuffed. When he heard the steal of the handcuffs strain against my movement, I felt his soft lips curve into the shape of a smile before he changed the angle of his head so he could take in more of me. 

The sound of our open-mouthed kisses and gasps for air were magnified by the quiet the surrounded us. I felt him warm tongue glide over my lips before he quickly forced his tongue forward, breaking through the weak barrier of my lips and into my mouth, twirling his tongue around mine.

This make out session went on for awhile before we were forced to pull away from each other to replenish our bodies with oxygen. Breathless, we looked at each other, but didn't say a word. Jerome leaned toward me, placing his forehead against mine - our breath mixing together between us.

His fingers tickled my skin as he slithered his hand down from my neck, to my collarbone, and finally down to my breast, palming it completely. He kneaded my breast a few times and I tried my best not to reveal my arousal to him. I instinctively squeezed my thighs together and bit my bottom lip harshly. Using the pad of his thumb, he felt through the fabric to locate my nipple and he made small circlular motions. Of course, I couldn't keep my nipple from hardening from his touch. 

He chuckled, pleased with himself, "Let me prove it to ya, doll."

I gave him a quizzical look, "Prove what?"

He pinched at my nipple gently, "That I won't fuck you and leave."

My brows instantly furrowed as I exhaled sharply through my mouth, the feeling idiocy washing over me.

_I'm such a fucking idiot._

If it had been possible for me to slap him, I would have. Instead, I settled for kicking his leg - as hard as I could.

"Ow," my action surprised him, "what the fuck was that for?!" His voice was already tinted with his typical anger.

"You really think I'm that stupid, don't you?! You just think you can say shit like that and I'll just fuck you? God, you ar-"

"No, that's not w-"

I kicked him again, "Get the fuck out of here!"

"Oh, come on ba--"

"I don't wanna hear it, Jerome. Leave me the fuck alone!"

I could feel his intense stare in the darkness. He remained still for a few seconds before he jerked himself up and over my body, removing himself from the bed. He immediately started walking towards the door, the stomping of his feet further communicating his anger. 

I tugged on the handcuffs, "Hey, take these cuffs off!"

Without turning towards me, he laughed out, "You told me to leave you the fuck alone. So, that's what I'm doing. Goodnight."

He slammed the door, leaving me handcuffed to my bed for the rest of the night.


End file.
